My Lady's Chicory Tattoo

2 Montana's Daily Report (past)

Notes of the day,

So uhhh.... did good work today got the furthest south field tilled and planted with no incidents. Tractors running fine now after Andy took a look at it, don't know why the Bush hog mower isn't fixed by now its been getting work since March.
Also, well... Cody told me he had feelings for me today at the pond. He blushed so pink and wouldn't look me in the face. He likes to hide behind the bill of his base ball hat and thoes little bits of brown hair that peek out. But he blushes up to his ears so it's not hard to tell. I play dumb though, I pretend I don't notice his little displays but I only do it because I like them so much. He's such a cute boy, I was surprised he even likes me I'm not any smaller than he is.
I've always been a little taller and a bit stronger but I'm older. I didn't think a boy like him would like a girl like me. I'm not like the others at our school, I won't be a teacher or a nurse. I want to chase money and I want success and I want to travel.
This is why I decided on pipeline welding I'm good at it. Best at our small school, I'll graduate in May and I'll move into a hotel in between school and my first jobsite. I'll just take work clothes because I need to focus on work and school. That's why I can't tell Cody I do want to share feelings with him and see where this go's, we are the best of friends but I think we are too young and I don't think I'm ready to date yet. I don't feel like a woman who wants a man right now I still feel like a girl who just got an invitation to see the world and see what I can do, I don't want to settle down yet.
I just told him about my weld test and that I'll be going for an interview soon. He looked at his feet in the water and I saw tears fall into the water. He was so quiet as he cried I wasn't sure if I should comfort him or pretend to not notice this as well. He doesn't like being emotional and he prefers to hide it but I understand him feeling heavier things since his mom and dad died and with his grandma in bed rest I know there's more going on than just a rejection. I wish he would tell me but I understand the pressure to stay strong is tough on him. Besides if he has feelings for me he needs a friend who isn't me to comfort him right now. I hope he has someone like that from school or even his grandma.
I tried to ask him to come with me back to the house for dinner but he laughed and said he has to get back to Nan, she has been forgetting to take her night meds again. It seemed convenient but I understand he may want space right now. I wouldn't ask him to make himself uncomfortable at dinner for me but I know if I asked he would. If I ever ask anything he is always willing to help.
I don't want to push him I just hope he will still be my friend and we weren't just friends because of his feelings.