Bucky
___________________
"What are you talking about?" I shouted back at her, finally moving back towards her.
"It was my fault you were kidnapped, rotting in a room and being experimented on for months, I texted you to go pick Juliet up, it was my fault. I came up with the stupid plan when we went back to Spain, I left Juliet because I was so mad seeing that room I forced you into, I couldn't look at her, I wasn't paying attention and I got you both blown up! You both almost died, weeks in a hospital bed because of me. I can't live with myself Bucky, how is anyone else supposed to live with me?" She sobbed, sinking to the floor as she gripped her stomach.
I wasn't connected to her the same way I was Juliet but I could feel the pain she was in, it was eating her alive and she'd been so good at hiding it.
She used to be so bad, you could see her falling apart, locking herself away, but now she knew what she was doing. She was killing herself without any of us noticing.
"Cam." I whispered, barely finding my own voice as I crouched down next to her, pain radiated through my body as it protested.
"I can't do it Bucky, I'm going to get one of you killed and I have to go before I do." She stuttered between sobs.
"You have to tell them you're leaving, after everything we've done for you, after all this time you can't just leave everyone in the middle of the night worrying and panicking about you." I told her as gently as I could, anger still prominent but I had no idea she'd been holding herself so responsible for what had happened.
"Nobody will listen." She protested, still sobbing.
"You know why nobody will listen? Because your reasoning is flawed. What happened to us wasn't anyone's fault but The Red Room and Hydra. It has nothing to do with you Kid, and you know that deep down, you know even if it was all your fault we wouldn't care because we love you and people make mistakes, but you didn't make any mistakes." I shook my head, trying to get her to listen but knew it was worth nothing.
"You wouldn't have been taken if I had just gone myself, if I'd just stayed with Juliet that day, neither of you would have been in that room." She tried to get her words out, lost to her sobs.
"Kid, if you look at everything like that, if we all looked at the ifs, none of us would be able to function." I sighed.
After three hours she seemed to exhaust herself of tears, she couldn't cry anymore and she couldn't breath properly.
We didn't talk, there was nothing else to say. We couldn't keep having the same argument with her every few months, we couldn't show her how much we loved her more than we already had, and if she still couldn't accept it, if she couldn't see how much we all wanted her with us we couldn't force her. There was nothing left to say.
I sat with my anger simmering around my body as she clung to my left arm crying, sat against the wall, until I felt Juliet pushing against me, trying to throw more than anger my way.
It worked, just slightly, until Cam gasped lightly and whispered Peter was awake.
How she knew that I didn't know and I didn't ask, I just let her get up from the floor, taking the hand she offered to me as I realised I needed it more than I thought.
I lead her down the stairs, making sure she kept following as I kept moving passed the bedrooms, down further into the kitchen.
I wasn't going to be the one to tell anyone, she was going to do this if she was going to leave.
Wanda frowned at me as we walked in, eyes widening as she spotted Cam, I made sure my shield was firm, she wasn't getting anything from me.
"Where did you end up last night then?" Peter whispered to Cam, she surprised me when she smiled and laughed slightly, "The roof, you know since I found them stairs it's a lot easier to get up there." She was getting too good at masking her feelings.
