"Dilemma Of Faith"

Chapter-7

"HER POV"

"don't worry I've an idea, ... there's only one solution.." It's been almost a month, of thinking what Yuri recommended that day. the glares I'm facing and the way ji-ho always defend me, but how long??!!....

"Fatima!... Fatima bety?"

"Huh?! " looking up, was too lost in thoughts that I hadn't realized baba was calling me.

"What happened beta? You're not eating properly? " baba notices me, playing with peas on my rice plates.

I shake my head, "n.o..nothing baba.". Lie. I started lying to myself that I don't care what people say, how they see me, how I look different. but deep down it's staying in my brain 24/7.

Baba takes a deep breath after sipping his glass of water. All four of us have lunch together at only weekends, the whole week, baba at his work, Rumi and I at our institutes and maa all alone at home. She says she misses Pakistan a lot. Everyone does except Rumi, who is really enthusiastic for being here. I guess she has made a friend who admires her art, perhaps maa knows it better, I don't have much time to listen to this talking machine. And I can't deny that in just two months of university, I am getting quieter day by day. Perhaps I'm questioning myself? How can I disappoint my parents especially baba in any way, when he sacrificed his everything for me!! ..

"Fatima! I've been noticing that you're not paying much attention at home". Maa says in a concerned way.

I nod, " yeah mids of my first semester is on the way, I'm just busy there".

"Time flies very quickly, look, it's been almost three months we shifted to Korea and it still feels so new, like yesterday we came here? " baba chuckles.

Maa g nods in agreement, " yesterday I was talking to Jamila Baji. She said everyone misses us a lot especially hamza misses rumi".

Rumi pouts, " but I don't miss hamza bhai, he always hides my colors and spoils my paintings ".

" Rumi!! " maa glares at her , she immediately gets quiet, baba chuckles.

I know how much we all miss Taya and tayi jaan (uncle and aunt) and hamza (my cousin) who is years younger than me, the only heir of Taya's property and heart. Sometimes I feel all the burden on myself of how my family separated for me. Our joint family is now in two parts. All because of me.. And I now think I am not able to pay back.

Again seeing me all silent, baba asks, " Fatima! Are you stressed because of...".

"Exam". I complete his sentence.

" why beta? You're brilliant enough to get stressed of this little thing? "

"Baba! It's different now. Too much study pressure and the competition. I worry what if I.."

"You're just thinking too much, remember what I taught you, when you think that you're in difficulty, what should you do?"

Before I can reply,Rumi shouts, "Quran!! " I look at her smile, "baba! You taught us that the Quran is the cure of hearts so if we feel stressed, we should read and understand what the Quran says and the problem solve".

Baba nods then says, " Rumi! I think I've taught you something else too? "

She frowns.

"Haven't I taught you not to talk too much, especially in between two people who are already having a conversation? " this time baba pretends to be angry while showing her, his glare.

She flinches her little nose, growls, "finnnee".. Then focuses on her plate.

I look back at baba, how can I tell him my problem. He'll advise me to stay loyal to Islam but he knows nothing. How can a man understand women's problem. The judgmental stares, the mocks, the comparison. " you're right, baba! I was kinda busy, so I couldn't recite Quran majeed with concentration. I'll now.. "