"Dilemma Of Faith"

Chapter-15

" HER POV"

It is a Korean national day off. We all were sitting in the yard. Maa g is giving an oil massage in Baba's hair, rumi is making some portraits. And here I'm just scrolling my Instagram, actually yesterday I made my private account public, although I haven't published any post here but a flood of DMS from uni guys, I have never even seen.. They think I'll consider them, when I'm loyal to yejun. Oh I remember yejun! He hasn't come to the uni Almost for the whole week, I even texted him but he have me short replies. I know he's stressed because of his mom. I'll visit her soon. But yesterday I felt so lonely because neither jiho nor Millie or Yuri came. I don't know what's happening, no one told me.

"Yaqoob!! Let's bismillah to our little business, Allah will be our helper". I was busy in thoughts when maa's voice caught my attention. I looked up, totally forgot that baba was thinking about starting some business. They both are looking so pure, so lovely and complete. I wish it could be me and yejun. But he's still Non-muslim.

Baba nods while chucking, " my Noor! I still have to do one more thing before starting this. " he pauses a little, "I need to ask Allah's permission"

"Allah's permission? "

"Istakhira.. Noor! Istakhira". Baba assures her and she smiles. But my mind is stuck here, what does he mean by asking Allah's permission?

" baba! What's istikhara? " I ask curiously.

Maa, baba look at me as I'm sitting on the stairs and they were on cane stools. Baba smiles, " bety! Istikhara is an obligatory prayer of two rakat which we perform along with a Dua, to get a hint from Allah SWT whether what we're going to do is right for us or not. Some people do it for marriage purposes, some do it before starting any work. "

"And...how do you get to know that what is Allah's hint? "

" almost a very few people see colors like when we pray these rakats at night before going to bed, we actually ask Allah's hint. And then with a belief that Allah SWT has listened to our supplication,we sleep. If he shows any color as a signal in our dream, Like white or green commonly, it means the thing we asked is good for us, but black is considered evil, it means the thing we are asking for isn't good in the future. So we should forbid it on time, remember bety! We plan things we see better for us, but Allah plans things which are best for us, indeed he's the best planner."..

My curiosity is increasing with each word he is telling me, I pause for a minute, then ask, " but baba! What if we don't get any dreams? "

"Yes, mera beta! Mostly we don't get the direct hint in a dream form but let's suppose if I pray istikhara for investing money in the stock market. And I won't get any dreams but other signs like the very next day, some of my friends say that shares are going down these days. Perhaps The other day anyone else tells me that it's not worth investing in now, so it's all the signs, the hints Allah is showing us that the thing I asked for isn't good for me now. So I should forbid it for getting the peace in my life. Istikhara is a prayer for inner peace. "

I'm amazed, like we can already predict what will be best for us in future or what not. I nod as I got it. Then maa speaks, "yaqoob! You forgot! I told you that I performed istikhara too....before our wedding day...If I haven't gotten a positive hint from Allah then I could have denied this wedding."

Baba grins softly, "how can I forget that, Noor! , perhaps Allah chose you as a guidance for my lost soul. If it weren't you, I'd never be on the right path today. Your love changed me, my Noor! "

Maa g blushes. I smile but I never actually knew their love story, as far as I know it, my parents were arranged in this marriage, they knew nothing about each other before marrying. So I ask, " baba! How actually maa changed you? "