"Dilemma Of Faith"

Chapter-17

" HER POV"

It's been a couple of days, since I'm not getting any chance to go to the hospital. Because baba daily takes me with him. Because of business affairs, his route has become this. I can't even tell him that why I don't like his coming.

But the strange thing is this, neither yejun called me nor texted me how I'm doing. I'm a little angry with him, but he can say the same, if he's dealing with everything all alone.. Perhaps auntie would be missing me too.

Anyway, I'll clearly ask baba about staying Saturday night at hospital.

Saturday, at lunch, When we all were having dinner, I speak, "baba! "

"G Mera beta? " he looks at me.

"I need your permission. " I hesitantly say.

"Permission for what?"

Maa is also looking at with curiosity. I squeeze my shyness, "actually.. Exam is coming.. "

"Yes and your final semester will be done? " baba smiles.

"That's why I want to go for group study. " I lie reluctantly, "at my friend's house, tonight. "

"Group study? " he stops eating, frowning, trying to read my face. But I make it neutral. Hard to read. He looks at maa g, she shrugs her shoulders in denial. So My nervousness is increasing. He looks back at me, "call them here. At our house. Because I don't want you to spend a whole night at someone's house".

" yeahh... And I'll meet unnie's friends too" Rumi who was quiet before excitedly says.

But I'm still stuck on my point, I want to meet yejun, and now I can't get back. I say, "Baba! It's not someone. It's my friends. I spent the whole year with them. I trust them. "

"Fatima! Trusting anyone is not a child's play. Here people can deceive others even after spending their whole lives with them. And you say, you have developed your trust in friends in just an year? "

Then maa gets agree with baba, "yaqoob is right, call them here. And do group study if it's really that necessary"

I'm done with this strictness, each time I have to ask permission from my parents like I'm still a five year old kid, even though I'm turning 24 this year..still there's no freedom in my life.

"You know what baba! Why am I not calling them here? " my tone isn't respectful at all. Like I let my anger spit through my tongue, "because we are poor and they all belong to high class families..." Silence for a moment, baba is looking at me in pure shock, "Calling them here, means, I'll be giving them a chance to look down at me. How can you imagine the mocks when you're different from others? No matter what you do, we'll still remain poor, a third class family. And you think I want to become a laughing stock for being such a brat? "

"Enough Fatima enough! " maa shouts my name angrily. And I suddenly realize that I cross my lane, became rude out of nowhere. Unintentionally the anger inside me, mix with lies explodes out.

Looking at baba, I expected him to say something but instead he simply gets up and leaves the dinning table. Goes to his room. His face was so disappointing and hurtful.

What have you done Fatima! How can you talk sh#t with your beloved baba?! I want to die at the moment...

Maa glares at me, " shame on you! Fatima!.. Shame on you.." she also gets up and goes behind baba.

I feel terrible. Rumi looks at me, holds my hand, "don't worry unnie! Baba will give you permission" I try to smile at her. But inside me is drowning.

Can I say that this time Satan helped me, being disrespectful with my parents!?