Lost in the Maze: Elias de Marcel

Kabanata 19

KABANATA 19

Atasha's POV

I am staring blankly while here in the office, drowned in thoughts about what's happening between me and Elias. About his wrong confession to me at the bar, especially when I woke up this morning. I was about to wake him up but was surprised because Jocelle's name suddenly came out of his mouth. Is he still being haunted by Jocelle, even in his sleep?

So instead of continuing to wake him up, I lost interest. I also wanted to wait for him to give me a ride to work, but my pride ate me. It's difficult when my pride takes precedence because, even though I want to talk to him, my pride comes first.

Sa hindi ko inaasahang pangyayari, halos isang buwan nang ganito ang kalagayan ng relasyon namin ni Elias. Hindi kami nag-uusap at nagpapansinan kahit na magkasama kami sa iisang bubong. Ako ay lumipat na rin ng kwarto sa ibaba at doon na natutulog. Wala nang kahit anong effort si Elias na makipag-usap sa akin.

Hindi rin ako makapag-first move dahil sa tingin ko wala naman akong nagawang mali para ako ang gumawa ng paraan para kausapin siya. Hindi ko na rin maintindihan kung bakit kami umabot sa ganitong sitwasyon. Palagi siyang nasa kwarto sa taas at napapansin ko na kapag nasa living room ako, hindi siya bumababa. Sa loob ng isang buwan, wala na akong nabalitaan tungkol kay Jocelle, tila ba tinigilan na niya si Elias.

Isa ito sa mga bagay na pinagpapasalamat ko dahil wala na akong problema sa kanya. Ang tanging problema na lang ngayon ay kung paano kami babalik sa dati. Parang may malaking pader na ang nasa pagitan namin ni Elias. Hindi na namin maramdaman ang isa't isa.

I'm tired of coming home from work and entering the condo to find it so quiet. It's strange because our condo unit used to be filled with laughter and banter. Elias and I used to come home together, cook dinner, and sometimes we'd be in the living room having a movie marathon. Our midnight snacks often turned into intimate sessions.

I sighed and sat on the sofa to take off my sandals. I hesitated for a moment before picking up my phone to check for any messages from Elias, but there were none, not even missed calls. Why do I still hope? Elias has been like this for a month now, so I should be used to it. I just laughed at myself for thinking that. I stood up, went to the bedroom to change, then returned to the living room and sat at the bar island to do the work I brought home.

I poured myself a drink and took a sip. The bitterness immediately hit my throat before I let out a sigh. After a few hours, I heard the door to the unit open, and even without looking, I knew it was Elias. I heard him sit on the sofa, prompting me to turn and look at him.

I saw him leaning with his head against the sofa's headboard, eyes closed. I let out a heavy sigh before standing up, grabbing a bottle of alcohol, and sitting next to him. He immediately sat up properly and looked at me in confusion.

"Let's have a drink," I softly said as I poured some into his glass. "Cheers?" I added before taking a sip.

"I go to bed," he coldly replied before getting up, but I quickly grabbed his hand as he was about to leave.

"Do we have to treat each other like this, Elias?" I asked softly, looking into the distance.

"What do you want me to do, Atasha? Should I be the one to fix our problems?" he responded.

"Yes, because you're the one who's really at fault for why we've ended up like this, aren't you?"

I heard him sigh. "Yes, I admit I'm at fault. But you're at fault too. Can't you make an effort just once to apologize? Do I have to be the only one making an effort to fix our problems?"

"What? I didn't do anything wrong."

"You know, Atasha? You make me sick of this. I can't even see you making an effort to apologize for what you did. Are you really that stubborn?"