Option Two [q.k + trans!male!reader!

45

"They finished the demo for be what u wanna." Jeno huffs as he sits down next to Renjun, leaning against his shoulder. "They want you to make a decision by the end of the week."

Renjun stays quiet, shuffling through the channels on the tv. He had one leg crossed over the over, his eyes not even sparing Jeno a glance.

"If you don't make a decision we can't be in the unit." Jeno sits up, grabbing Renjun by the chin and forcing him to look him in the eyes. "I get this sucks. I get that you're stressed out because they are forcing you to make this decision so fast."

Renjun tried to turn back to the tv but Jeno's grip tightens against his jaw.

"Why is it so hard? You told me you have feelings for me, you said you're attracted to me and that you want to be in a relationship with me." Jeno started, his eyes tearing up at the mere thought that Renjun changed his mind. "Just answer the damn question before I lose my mind, please."

Renjun finally looks Jeno in the eyes, his own glossy as tears started to build up. "I'm scared..." He admits, his voice almost a whisper.

"Of what? You're feelings for y/n?" Jeno raises his voice, sounding as if he was frustrated with the way the conversation was going. "I already told you it was okay if you still love him. As long as you have feelings for me as well, it doesn't matter."

Renjun grabs Jeno's hand, pulling it away from his face and turning back to the tv. "It's not that." He raises his voice as well. "I've accepted the fact he loves Kun. I know very well that I'll never be able to be with him and I'm okay with that."

"Then what is it?" Jeno starts before Renjun can barely finish his sentence.

"I'm scared to actually be with someone." Renjun accentuates his pronunciation of the word 'be', lips pressing into a thin line after he takes a deep breath. "We debuted when we were only 16, the first person I ever had feelings for was Y/n and you know how that's going."

Jeno stays quiet for a moment, leaning back against the couch. He fidgets with his fingers for a moment, ignoring the way Renjun was breathing heavily as he waited for a response.

Then Jeno's lips start curling into a smile, his hands stopping their movements. "So all of this... is just because you're scared to be in a relationship?"

Renjun furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean, just? I'm allowed to be scared, I've never been in a relationship before."

Jeno nods, wrapping his arm around Renjun's shoulder. "Of course you're allowed to be scared, you can just tell me about it though. I've never been in a relationship either, it'll be a first for both of us."

Silence fills the room quickly, but Renjun makes no move to pull away. It stays like that for a moment, his face showing all sorts of emotions as he tries to put his thoughts together.

"I want to be your boyfriend..." Renjun speaks up after a few moments. He turns, facing Jeno with an almost fearful expression. "Do you... do you think it's a good idea to join the unit though? The other guys have been together for months already."

Jeno shrugs, his lips curling up slightly. "They have just as much of a chance to break up as we do. I don't see why we couldn't give it a shot."

In all honesty that didn't make Renjun feel all too much better. "So... you think we should do it?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"I do. But, I'm also completely fine if you would prefer not to." Jeno nods his head slowly, his hand coming up to fidget with Renjun's hair.

Renjun nods just as slowly as he processes the words. "Alright." He hums, holding eye contact.

It was Jeno's turn to be confused. "Alright...?"

"I want to be in the unit... and I want to be your boyfriend." Renjun says hesitantly, his cheeks slightly pink in colour.

Jeno grins all the way to his eyes. "Okay, it's settled. We are boyfriends and members of NCT Gay boys."

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So... for those who don't know yet, my house burnt down last month. Fortunately my family and pets are all safe, unfortunately my house is completely gone. We are staying in a rental right now and are doing pretty good. My mental health has been sort of drained from what happened which is why I haven't updated, but I've got this for you, and hopefully more soon:) I won't be pushing myself to update, so I hope you guys can be patient with me as I work things out.