C H R I S T M A S . E V E

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J's Lullaby by Delaney Bailey<3 

The evening had been filled with laughter and games of charades, cards, monopoly- everything under the sun. It was uncontaminated by the demons of the past and full of pure contentment. The evening had grown more quiet as it went on, the sleepy haze of a Copenhagen christmas falling over each member of the family until everyone decided it was time for bed. Elsbeth and James hugged and kissed everyone goodnight and headed to their room leaving only the children. Farleigh was already passed out on one of the beds, leaving Delilah and Venetia chatting in the bathroom as they brushed their teeth.

With a mouth full of minty foam, Delilah couldn't keep this secret to herself. 'I love him.'

Venetia projectile spat the toothpaste from her mouth and looked up, wide eyed to Delilah. 'Conext!' She almost screamed.

'Shh' Delilah pressed her hand to Vs mouth, laughing. 'But in all seriousness, V. I don't know what to do. I love him.'

'Just to confirm-'

'Yes fucking Felix!' Delilah exclaimed.

'Tell me something i don't bloody know.' She laughed, rinsing her mouth with water.

'What do i do, V? It's all so fucking confusing.'

'Angel, do whatever the fuck you want. You've spent so much of your life just letting things happen to you, scared of what people will do if you speak your mind. You deserve the world, my love, and if your world is Felix then you go get him.'

'You think?'

"Absolutely, I do. Soon your life will be filled with thinking about a baby, Delilah. You won't have any time to put yourself first for a while so you deserve, in these last few moments you have, to get everything you want. And Felix is mad for you, i've never seen him so gentle and soft and- well fucking in love with someone before you.'

'God don't make me cry you asshole.' Delilah pulled V into a deep hug, comfort washing over the both of them. 'I love you angel girl.'

'I love you too, Lilah.'

The girls walked hand in hand back into the sitting room where the beds were, to find Felix asleep in one and Farleigh in the other. V gently pushed Delilah toward Felix and she gave in, kissing her best friend on the cheek before climbing onto the mattress. She snuggled down into the sheets, closing her eyes trying to stop her whirring thoughts from preventing sleep, only to hear Venetias soft snores coming from the other side.

The fire had gone out and the room was cold now, no matter how thick and fluffy the duvet of the bed was. Ever since being pregnant Delilah had gotten cold so easily and she sighed in a gentle frustration as her body began to shiver slightly. She rolled over onto her side and pulled the covers over her shoulders, trying to get warm.

Suddenly, Felix's hand was pulling Delilah towards him. Delilah was so shocked she didn't know what to do. He pulled her closer until her back was against his chest, his sleepy breaths brushing against her ear. 'You okay?' He murmured sleepily.

'Yeah- sorry. Just cold.'

Then he tugged gently at her shoulder, practically rolling her over to face him. Felix pulled against Delilah's waist so she was flush against his chest, then moving hand to the back of her neck, sliding it under her hair so he had a firm grip, before lifting her head onto his chest as he slid his arm under her so she was comfortable. This was how they used to sleep, their bodies melding into one another so perfectly.

'Better?' He asked and she melted.

'Much better.'

She remained silent, too scared to say anything else, too scared to hear what he would reply. But something took a hold of her, shaking her to grow up and be confident. To get what she wanted. And she wanted him.

'Felix, wake up.'

'Hmm?'

'Wake up, I need to talk to you.'

He snapped awake, propping himself up slightly with a worried face.'What is it? Are you okay? Is it the baby?' His hand unconsciously fell to Delilah's stomach in protection.

'I'm fine- we're fine. It's not that.'

'What is it then?'

Delilah inhaled sharply, letting go of all the doubts and fears that fogged her mind. It was time.

'I- look, so much has happened this year. So many terrible, fucking gut wrenching things- to the both of us. I've hated you, I've thought I would never speak to you again- to be honest I thought I wouldn't ever see you again for a while. But that was all temporary, it didn't last, the anger, like I thought it would. Despite what you did and what we went through, the mistakes we made, and despite how much you've hurt me, the only fucking person i want in this entire world is you. I want it to be us, forever, just like we promised. I want our baby to have parents who love each other, Felix. Because I do- I do love you. I really fucking love you Felix.'

The room was painfully silent. Felix said nothing, his hand left Delilah's stomach and her heart sank. A red hot embarrassment struck her cheeks and she wished the ground would swallow her alive. He ran his hand through his hair, signing and rubbing his jawline in thought. She couldn't see his face properly in the dark, and couldn't read him like she normally could. But she knew, she knew from his lack of words that he truly had nothing to say, Because he truly didn't feel the same way.

Delilah gulped gently, wanting to be sick with embarrassment now, and lifted her hand off of his chest. She thought she could apologise, maybe say she was just tired and hormonal. Maybe she could lie well enough that he would believe her stupid excuses for her pathetic speech. Tears pricked at her eyes and she felt heartbroken for him all over again.

Delilah sat up slightly and went to turn away. But then, completely by surprise and without warning his hand clasped around her jaw gently, lips crashing into her own. She was on fire. They melted into each other, their lips locking so perfectly as Felix's tongue dipped into Delilah's mouth. His hand moved from her jaw to the small of her back, pulling her as close to him as was humanly possible. Delilah's hands made their way up his chest and into his hair, gripping like she would never let go. They were infatuated with the feel of eachother once again. It had been so long yet it felt just like yesterday. The feeling of his lips against her own was almost fucking spiritual, heaven on earth, a solitude amid the turmoil of life.

'Reply' Delilah pulled away only for a second, desperate for his response. He kissed her again, needing her skin on his. 'Please, tell me what you're thinking.' She said in between breaths and kisses.

Felix pulled away and cupped her face in his hands. She could barely see his face but Delilah felt his eyes burning into her own. 'I have loved you since the day I met you, Delilah Astor. And i will love you until the day i fucking die.'

~

AN: wow... quite a fast turn around for our lovers but I wouldn't have it any other way. And it's about bloody time, don't you think????

Stay safe, you are loved<3  

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