The Angel in Hell

C H R I S T M A S . M O R N I N G

Pretty Boy by The Neighbourhood<3

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The days that followed felt like some sort of blissful fever dream. All of a sudden, Felix and Delilah were back on as if nothing had changed since summer. They told their family on Christmas morning, while everyone was opening presents and dancing to christmas music in the hotel room. Shocked at first, they all came round excited and pleased for the couple, congratulating them on working things out. But did they really work everything out? Did they ever have those hard conversations? Delilah felt a pang of anxiety as she thought of all the things she had not said to Felix, but after opening up his present for her she quickly pushed them away for later.

She didn't think they would get anything for eachother after the year they'd had and blushed a violent pink when Felix walked over with both hands full of neatly wrapped gifts. He had outdone himself, buying her everything from a Van Cleef bracelet she had been eyeing up for ages to a packet of her favourite marlborough red cigarettes in a custom gold case that was engraved with her name, a little note inside of it reading 'For post-birth consumption, of course' in his scribbly handwriting. But, Delilah's most favourite present was a voucher he had made himself, dyeing the paper brown with tea bags and writing 'Would you like to go to dinner with me?' on it.

'I'm sorry it's a bit shit but I didn't have much time this morning and I thought this was better than just asking.' He sighed, wrapping his arm around him to distract from a small blush of embarrassment across his cheeks.

'Felix...' Delilah spoke softly, tracing her finger over his writing. 'I would love to, thank you.'

The rest of the morning was filled with more Christmas laughter, games and present opening before it was time to get ready for the Christmas lunch. The hotel was attached to a famous restaurant and everyone who booked a room with them over Christmas was entitled to first dibbs on a table for Christmas lunch so that was where they would be going. Delilah was relieved since it meant no walking in the cold nordic air today.

Around 12 everyone left for their own rooms to go and get ready. Felix asked Delilah if she could come and get ready with her and she agreed, telling him she had to get some bits from Vs room and so gave him her key card to let himself in.

Having collected a pair of white strappy heels from Venetia's room, Delilah finally reached her own. She opened the door to a wonderful smell of lavender and something like fresh cotton sheets. Felix greeted her at the door, in a fluffy white robe that he was most definitely too tall for making Delilah laugh at how the majority of his legs were bare.

'Made yourself comfortable.' She laughed, closing the door behind her and placing the heels down.

'Obviously.' He joked, posing flamboyantly in his robe just to make her laugh more. He adored her laugh.

'What's that delicious smell?' Delilah asked.

'Follow me.' He smiled mischievously and took her hand in his.

He led her toward the bathroom and opened the door for her, revealing a steaming hot bubble bath. Dotted all around were mini tea-light candles that flickered in the dimly lit room, casting dancing shadows on the marble walls and catching the gold detailing of the mirror and shelf handles.

Felix closed the bathroom door behind them and came close up behind Delilah, placing soft kisses on her cheek and down her neck. She rested her head against his chest as his lips touched her skin, finding comfort in their touch. Then, still kissing her, Felix wrapped his arms around her body and began to undo the buttons of her pyjamas top. He started at the bottom and worked his way up, stopping just below her breasts and asking if it was okay for him to continue. Delilah sighed and nodded in a blissful trance. He continued to undo the last few buttons and then slid the soft material off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Kissing her neck one last time, he walked around and knelt in front of Delilah, his hands remaining on he body the entire time.

'Put your hands on my shoulders.' He said gently and Delilah did so.

Resting her weight on his broad and strong shoulders, Felix tugged at the waistband of her pyjamas bottoms and slid them down her legs. She lifted each one so he could get them fully off her and suddenly she realised she he hadn't seen her body in a long, long time. Not like this.

Delilah suddenly felt nervous, removing her hands from his shoulders so she could see his face properly to try and read what he was thinking. She didn't get anything as he watched Felix with his hands holding her hips as he took her in.

Felix looked up and saw the nervous look on Delilah's face, he could always tell when she felt this way. She had done the same face ever since they were little. She would nibble at the inside of her cheek and blink faster than normal. She often did it when they went swimming or when it was a fancy event where she had to wear something fancy and generally quite fitting- basically whenever she knew people could see her body. And Felix never understood why she felt that way. She was so beautiful to him, with her 'B shaped' stomach, soft thighs and arms, with her cellulite and stretch marks that looked like those paintings of greek women in museums. Absolutely beautiful.

'You know,' He said gently, breaking the silence, still on his knees in front of her. Worshipping her. 'When I was little we learnt about Greek gods and goddesses and I remember looking at a picture of Aphrodite and thinking the whole thing must be made up because no being could ever be that beautiful.'

'Oh really?' Delilah questioned, her breath shaky and nervous to hear what came next as she stood exposed.

'Yeah really, then the next day you came over for a playdate with Venetia and I suddenly i thought, Aphrodite most definitely can't be real because to me you were more beautiful and breathtaking than she could ever be.'

Delilah didn't know what to say. Never in her life had she been so deeply and meaningfully complimented than in that moment. She felt almost embarrassed, wanting to bat his compliment away like she had done her whole life when it came to people praising her. She wasn't used to it- someone appreciating her in that way. Her life had been filled with 'You can do better', 'you must do better, be better'. Since what felt like the beginning of time her mother was putting her on diets, straightening her curls, buying her three tons of makeup and making Delilah feel as though she was nothing but a speck of dirt on the floor- like there was nothing naturally or intrinsically beautiful about her.

And Felix knew this, so instead of forcing silence until she had come up with a reply, he stood up and removed his own robe, hoping to make her feel less alone in her exposure.

Delilah took in his body as he had done to her. Her eyes followed the veins that looked like paintbrush strokes all the way up his arms until they dissipated into the contours of his muscles. She counted each of his little freckles and moles that were peppered across his chest, some covered by tattoo ink, some not. She looked at his own stretch marks that ran along some of his side and thought how beautiful they looked against his olive skin. Her eyes fell to the small scar on the top of his thigh and remembered how he cut it on some barbed wire while trying to help her get over a fence. They were 13 at the time.

And she thought to herself, if she could love someone's scars and marks as much as she adored Felix's, maybe she should love her own. And in turn, she realised just how much Felix had healed her over the years. Although he may have cut her, he had sown her up so many more times. He really had saved her from the oblivion of life and suddenly she felt no reason to delve into the past and have conversations about the past year. Not soon anyway. Because it wouldn't change anything and, in all honesty, in this moment, she knew she didn't want to change a single thing in the timeline of their lives together.

Felix held Delilah's hand and supported her waist as they lowered themselves into the warm water of the bath he'd run. Delilah lay in between his legs in the soapy water and fiddled with his signet ring around his middle finger.

They remained like that for at least an hour. They spoke almost constantly, about nothing and everything. Occasionally the chatter broke for a moment and Delilah leaned her head to the side so their lips could intertwine, kissing each other in a way that expressed their love better than any words ever could.