Don't look at her, just don't (Regina George)

Spiral

Before you all read this, I just wanna say massive TW for ED and emetophobia. Please if you struggle with any of these things before you read this. I don't want to trigger anyone into an episode 🤍

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Panic overtook Scarlett's brain as she felt her stomach bloat, her face swell and body grow.

Eight...

Her mind set into panic and she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.
She sat on the couch, thinking about the consequences.

She couldn't eat anything anymore, she would gain way too much weight.

All that work, and what did it get me

Eight...

"Scary?" Blair spoke up, taking Scarlett out of her thoughts. "Are you even listening?"

Scarlett shook her head and put on a smile.

"Sorry I zoned out a for a bit, what did you say?"

Regina had taken notice of Scarletts change in behavior. Which made her pay a closer attention to the girl.

"I asked if you're up for dessert, Regina and I were thinking brownies?" She asked, showing her the DoorDash app.

Scarlett laughed softly, shaking her head. "I'm okay, I'm really full now. But you guys go ahead. I'm gonna lay down for a bit, think I ate some bad fish or something" and with that she stood up and left the room.

Her mask fell and she burst out in a panic, her breath was heavy and her arms couldn't stop shaking.

Something about everything Blair said caused a massive trigger in her head. Her thoughts couldn't stop running and every little movement she made felt like she had put on 50 pounds.

She felt heavy, big, fat.

Eight...

Scarlett let herself fall down on the bed, staring blankly in front of her. She thought of every possible thing to prevent this, to fix herself. But nothing came up.

Except for two things.

Something she hadn't done in a long time.

She howled herself off the bed, walking towards the door. She didn't know if she really wanted to do this, if she wanted to start another spiral. Because if she did this one time, she knew she would do it again.

She knew her spirals.

However after seeing her reflection through the window next to her,  she knew enough.

Opening the door she looked at herself again. The mirror in front of her proved her point even more.

Eight...

She hated what she saw, the differences from other days. The massive change in appearance.

She couldn't bear it.

So she let herself fall to the floor, opened the lid and looked at what was in front of her.

Just try it, alright?

Eight... that'll be enough right?

Two fingers, eight inches deep.

Are you satisfied?

The voice rang through her head, like a devil on her shoulder

One time is not enough, again

And Scarlett listened, like a little kid in kindergarten. Again.