In A Different Time

Chapter 21

Eulogies are the hardest part in a funeral. You have to summarize all the amazing memories and moments you have of your loved one between three to seven minutes. It hurts even more if they die young. A slap on the face how quickly they left the world and didn't leave much mark. It made you feel guilty about the times you missed out spending time with them to do something else. Wishing you can turn back time and change it.

I used to believe time travel doesn't exist but apparently it does. It got me thinking out of all the things I can time travel to, why this time and why not on that day? I could have save him too. It's not that I don't want to save James. He deserves a chance to live but I just wished I could have also save him. Go back in that time and prevented his death. He would still be with us and we wouldn't experience the pain and sorrow of losing him.

I just hope after I save James in this time, maybe the universe would grant me a wish to time travel again and save him too. He had a bright future ahead of him and it was taken from in a snap because he was in the wrong place and time. He deserves to live too.

"Grace?"

I snapped out of my thoughts when he called my name. James had his eyes narrowed down on me. I didn't realize he let go of my hand. "I'm sorry did you say something?"

"Not important. Are you alright? I lost you there for a while." his voice laced with worry.

Being here brings back so many hurtful memories. He already has enough on his plate and he doesn't need to worry about me. This is my personal problem and he doesn't need to get involve. At this moment, it's about him and not me.

"I'm fine don't worry." I lied with a grin on my face. "Funerals just brings out the emotional side of you. No problem really. I'm fine."

He didn't look convinced but I'm glad he didn't ask me any further. I have to keep my act together. James needs someone to lean on and I can't get carried away with my emotions. I need to be strong for him.

I set my focus again at Dotty who was in the middle of her eulogy. Her eyes held so much sorrow and a quivering smile to fight off the emotions building inside her. "He wasn't just a husband. He was my best friend and my soulmate. Now that he's gone, it felt like half of me is missing. I... I can't imagine continuing on with life. My day always starts seeing him next to me in bed in the morning. Seeing that empty space next to me is still heartbreaking for me. But, I know that he's no longer in pain. He's now in a better place. I just wished..." she wasn't able to finish her sentence when her tears took over. Her shoulders shook and the priest patted her back comfortingly. James went up at front and held Dotty in his arms. She leaned on him for support. The only family she has left. Dotty no longer wanted to continue her eulogy.

It was time for James to give his eulogy. A man probably around his mid-forties came up and took Dotty. He assisted her back to her seat. The man gave me a small smile as an acknowledgement and I thanked him for helping her. I moved closer to her and lay my head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around me and allowed herself to silently cry next to me. Dotty needs a pillar too right now and I'm happy to be that.

James stood at the podium. He was clenching his jaw and his eyes gazed down. Sighing deeply, he raised his eyes and connected with mine. Few seconds later he started talking. "To be completely honest with you all, I don't talk that much. I hate standing in front of a huge crowd and you probably knew that since I grew up here. Actually, none of us are talkers really. I'm still like that even now but a special person of mine told me it's alright to be open and vulnerable. To let others know what you really feel and think. She told me if I keep on putting a lid on my emotions, it will spill and would make a huge mess. So, here I am pouring it out."