In A Different Time

Chapter 34

My mind was working on the night shift. It refused to stop playing what happened last night and I couldn't stop thinking whether to accept or reject James' confession. I know I shouldn't be with him but I want to. I felt guilty because it came to the point where I told myself it's alright for me not to go back home. That I'll leave my family and friends so I can stay in this time to be with him. It's selfish I know and it's the reason why I always bury that thought at the deep end of my brain.

I checked the time and it was 6:00 AM. Sighing, no point in trying to fall asleep now. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Even in the shower, my thoughts were somewhere else. I gasped at the sudden realization. Things would be awkward considering James professes his love for me and until now I haven't decided what to do or maybe it wouldn't be awkward.

Yeah, I can be an adult about this. No need to make a fuss out of it. Act like an adult.

After my pep talk, I took my time picking out my outfit and making myself presentable. It has nothing to do with the fact I want to look nice when he sees me. This is because I just feel like I want to look nicer today. That's all. I chose a pink floral dress and tied my hair into a ponytail. I gave my bangs a quick fix and added minimal makeup. I checked my reflection multiple times. Once I'm satisfied, I went downstairs to prepare breakfast.

The house is quiet since James and George were still asleep. Entering the kitchen, I took my time and enjoy the silence. The perfect time for me to contemplate and reflect from last night's events. I still haven't decided on what to do with his confession. James was kind and patient for giving me time but that's the one thing I don't have. Time. I need to make a decision. Also, I still have to figure out what caused his death or if that's still going to happen. Everything seems to be solved but I still have this gut feeling it's not over yet. I trust my gut feeling about this.

I was in the middle of frying the scrambled eggs when George came in. He looked surprised when he saw me then his expression turned into a mischievous smirk. "You're early today. Are we still excited from last night's dinner? You look extra pretty today."

"Good morning, George. Thank you for the compliment." I chuckled and set the eggs on the plate. He took the plate from me and placed it on the dining table.

"So, anything else happened when Mr. Ryder escorted you to your room?" The memory flashed in my head and a blush spread through my cheeks.

"I guess the night ended well." He smirked.

"Thank you by the way for last night."

"You shouldn't thank me. Mr. Ryder did all the work on his own. He wanted to make the night perfect for you."

"And it is. It was perfect. Magical even."

"Then why do you look so troubled right now?"

    I wasn't doing a good job hiding. George could see right through me. "I'm just confused right now?"

    "Confused? Confused by what?" his eyes narrowed in concern.

    I sighed and poured my heart out. "I just don't know what will happen if I say yes to him. If I begin a relationship with him, what's going to happen if I return home. I'm not staying here forever. I'm bound to go home anytime soon. It's not like I don't want to be here but I have family and friends who are looking for me and most probably worried about my whereabouts. I'm not even sure if we're going to last. What's going to happen then? To us? Are we going to end up heartbroken? I want to say yes but there are a lot of things to consider. I want to be with him but I don't know if it's worth it to get our hearts broken." Tears were forming in my eyes.

George stayed silent and walked over to me. He softly placed his hand on mine and gave it a small squeeze. "I understand where you are coming from. Being with someone is terrifying, especially when you have no idea what the future holds. Yes, that is true there are a lot of things to consider but isn't that what love is supposed to be? Taking risks even if you are uncertain. A lot of things could happen and it is completely out of our control. But you have to ask yourself. Am I willing to take that risk? Am I willing to do the uncertain for the person I love regardless of what will happen in the future? Will I be able to live with myself? Have you asked yourself, Grace?" I shook my head and the tears ran down my face. George gently wiped them away with his thumb. "Then, think about that. I know you're scared but that's life. You just need to take that step."