𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭 | 𝟏𝟖+

25

This can't be happening. It can't be real. My baby, my sweet, innocent Penny..

Beside me, Damien goes stiff with anger. "What the fuck Catherine, you have a daughter? And didn't think to tell me?"

But I barely hear him over the ringing in my ears, his voice muffled as the world around me blurs.

I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't do anything but let out a guttural scream.

I jump to my feet, knocking over my chair in my rush to get away. I hear Damien calling after me, his footsteps pounding behind me as I flee the room in a panic.

All I can think about is Penny, my beautiful baby girl. I didn't get to say goodbye, tell her how much I loved her, or hold her one last time.

All she knew was that her mother abandoned her. I could've gone back to get her months ago. But I didn't because I got so caught up in Damien's world.

The guilt claws at my insides with its vicious talons. I left her behind. I escaped that life and I left my own child to suffer the consequences.

If she's dead her blood is on my hands, I killed my baby.

I stumble blindly towards Damien's bathroom. I can still hear him calling after me, his footsteps close behind, but I don't stop. I lock myself in the bathroom. And there, huddled on the cold tile floor, I finally let myself shatter.

Gasping sobs, my screams echoing off the walls. I claw at my hair and my skin as if I could somehow rip the pain out of me. But it's no use.

I will never forgive myself for failing her, for not being there to protect her when she needed me most. I don't deserve to go on living after this.

How am I supposed to wake up every day and breathe, knowing that my precious little girl might never again feel the sun on her face, the wind in her hair.

I can barely see through the blur of tears as I frantically rummage through the medicine cabinet, my hands shaking so badly I knock over bottles and send pills scattering across the counter.

I unscrew the cap of my Xanax pills, pouring a pile of them into my palm. I don't bother to count them, don't care about dosages or warnings.

I put some pills into my mouth, grabbing another handful to take afterwards. I hear Damien's voice on the other side of the door, his fists pounding against the wood with increasing force.

"Catherine, open the fucking door!"

Before I can even think about opening the door, it splinters open with a crash.

Damien stands there, his eyes frantically looking around the bathroom as he takes in the scene before him - me, hunched over the sink with a fistful of pills, my face a ruin of tears and smeared mascara.

"What the fuck, Catherine?" he demands, walking over to me and snatching the pills from my hand. "Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

A bitter laugh tears itself from my throat. "Maybe I am," I spit out, my voice raw and ragged. "My daughter is missing, probably murdered and you are only concerned with the fact that I didn't tell you about her?"

Damien steps closer, shaking his head, "Of course I care, Catherine. I just want you to tell me the truth."

Something inside me snaps,"The truth?!" I scream, my voice echoing off the bathroom tiles. "You want to talk about the truth, Damien? How about the truth of all the shit you kept from me, all the dangerous shit you do without even considering how it might blow back on me?!"