𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭 | 𝟏𝟖+

49

I walk up to Luis, Faith sleeping in my arms. I'm hesitant but desperate for some sleep. "Hey Luis, I hate to ask, but do you think you could watch Faith for a little while so I can take a nap? I'm exhausted," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

Luis gives me a warm smile. "Of course, Catherine. No problem at all."

"Thank you so much," I reply, relieved.

For the past couple of months, Damien has been constantly running off to business meetings at all hours of the day. It's been a nightmare trying to take care of Faith without his help, and I haven't managed to get more than four hours of sleep a day for almost two months now.

I head to the guest room, grabbing a bottle of liquor on the way. I take a few shots, hoping the alcohol will help me drift off to sleep. I lay down on the bed, closing my eyes. Just as I'm about to doze off, Damien comes stumbling into the room, making a racket.

He's drunk, and I'm furious. "Damien, what the hell were you doing?"

He slurs his words as he replies, "I just had to meet with my lawyer about my legal issues, that's all."

I scoff. "You're a fucking liar! Why would you be drunk if you were just talking to your lawyer?!"

"I went out for a few drinks right after," he says, shrugging, no care in the world.

I can feel my temper rising. " I just want a few fucking hours of uninterrupted sleep, and I can't even get that. You've been so unhelpful lately, it's fucking ridiculous."

I sit up, looking him dead in the eye. "What are all these meetings you keep running off to again anyway?"

Damien sighs. "I gotta protect you and the baby, Catherine. Do you want the Ramirez' to come in here and kill Faith too? You should be grateful."

"I am grateful, Damien. But I also need help. I can't do this all on my own."

He looks at me, his expression cold. "You chose this life, Catherine. Now you have to live it."

"Fuck you, Damien. Just...fuck you. You're a piece of fucking shit!"

He turns to leave, throwing his words over his shoulder. "I'm going out. Don't bother calling me."

And with that, he's gone, leaving me alone with my anger and exhaustion. I fall back on the bed, tears of frustration stinging my eyes. How did it come to this? How am I supposed to keep going when I feel so alone?

I feel like I'm about to explode, like all the rage that's been building up inside me is finally boiling over. I can't take it anymore. I run to the bathroom, tears blurring my vision.

A poorly muted scream rips from my throat, sounding like some wounded animal. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I sweep my arm across the counter, sending everything crashing to the ground- toiletries, makeup, whatever. I don't care. I just need to break something, to let out this anger that's been consuming me.

I sink to the floor, my body shaking with sobs that feel like they're being wrenched from my very soul.

Damien doesn't love me anymore. He can't. Not after everything. Having his baby was a mistake, the worst mistake of my life. I can't do this anymore.

With hands that won't stop trembling, I reach for the bottle of pills that fell on the ground, pouring what's left of them into my hand.

Faith needs me.

But, everything would be so much better if I just let go.

I grab a bottle of vodka, my movements clumsy, frantic. I wash the pill down with a swig. I keep chugging, gulping down the liquid like it's water.