Acceptance

The bitter truth

April, 1996

I turn off the engine of the rented car, once I pull into Mick's driveway, in his Maui home. He fell in love with this place, from what I understand, he's living here permanently. I lean back, gathering my things, demo tapes and such, from the backseat before opening the door and getting out. I told him that I would arrive at 11 in the morning, but it's still a little early, hopefully I won't interrupt anything.

As I'm walking up the front steps I'm still not sure who's going to show up today. If it's just Mick and I, or the whole band is coming. If Stevie is coming... I ring the bell and wait for a moment, before the door opens and... wait, what? Stevie?

She smiles shyly, welcoming me inside, looking very casual I must say. "Hey, it's been a while."

"Too long." I nod, smiling back at her as we share a hug. "I didn't know you'd be here. Or anyone who was supposed to come today for that matter."

"Yeah, well..." She trails off. "Mick will be with us in a sec, he just got out of the shower." I'm beyond confused and I don't know what to say, so I just nod. "Would you like something to drink?"

Why is she acting as if she's living here? "A glass of water would be great, thanks."

"So..." She leans against the counter, crossing her arms. "How you've been?"

"You know... all is pretty much the same, still concentrated on my music mostly." This conversation is so forced and awkward, I don't understand why. "And you?"

"Well, I haven't done anything really after Street Angel." She shrugs and Mick comes in and I must admit, I'm grateful we're not alone anymore.

"Good to see you, mate!" He gives me a hug too.

"You too, Mick."

"Sorry I kept you waiting."

"Oh, it's okay." I wave it off. "Are John and Christine coming?"

"Chris' flight got delayed, so she's coming tomorrow and John is too, because he already had a fishing trip planned for today."

"It's us three then?"

"Yeah. We don't have to get working on anything yet, we can wait for the whole bunch to gather. Actually, I was thinking that maybe we could listen through the tapes you said you'd bring and go out to dinner later tonight? Catch up, you know?"

"I... Sure." I shrug, not really sure if I want to, more like I have to.

"Where are your things? I'll show you to your room."

"Oh, umm... I'll carry them up later, but you can show me the room now."

Stevie stays in the kitchen, as Mick leads the way up the stairs and to the right. He pushes the door open and it's very nice in here, neat and spacious. "This is the master bedroom if you need anything from me." He shows me.

"Thanks. Although, I could have stayed at a hotel, you sure you'll fit all of us in this house?"

"No worries, Lindsey. Plenty of spare rooms." Mick says, patting me on the back. "Would you like to rest or get down to work?"

"A short nap would be great. The plane landed, I got into the car and got straight here."

"Sure, no problem. Stevie and I were just about to take the dog out for a walk."

"The dog? I haven't met one coming in."

"She's most likely out in the garden, soaking up the sun then." Mick laughs and then closes the door from the other side.

I sit down on the bed, resting my elbows on my knees, as I lean forward. What the hell is going on? Is Stevie on vacation here? Do they live together? Are they together?! She was clearly at a loss of words like I was, she probably didn't want to let anything slip, that's why our encounter was so uncomfortable. What, does she think I won't find out if something is happening between her and Mick? I shake myself out of my thoughts and lay down, hoping to have some rest.

When I wake up and go downstairs, they're back, chatting on the couch in the living room, the said dog, lying on the floor by Stevie's feet. I clear my throat, making my presence known and enter the room. I sit down in the armchair and I'm unable not to stare at them.

Mick starts talking about something and when I know he's not about to stop, I block his voice out, my eyes settling on Stevie. I wondered how she would look like now, if she has aged, if she shortened her hair or let it grow out longer, if her skin was as pale as ever or she's got a tan... just... things. And the conclusion I come to is that she's simply stunning, even now, wearing a long black flowy skirt, a white top, her hair loose and not a touch of makeup. She is absolutely mesmerizing. And she catches me staring, but quickly looks away again.

Finally, we get around to listening to my rough demos. We thought we could record an EP or maybe and album first and then go on a tour with the Rumours line-up. Mick comments on everything as always, while Stevie says very little. But I know her, she's listening to the music carefully, paying attention to the smallest detail and not one word she's supposed to hear passes her by.

Evening comes quickly and Mick drives us to his favourite restaurant. Again, Stevie sits by Mick's side and I try my best not to appear as the third wheel... We talk about everything as we eat, but neither of them get to the part I want to know about desperately. I could ask, but I don't know how. I can't just say, hey, you guys are together? And what if the answer is yes? What do I do then?

We get back after 10 pm. I thought the evening was going to be much worse, but it went alright. I would like to stay around and see where Stevie is staying, but I doubt that would come across normal. So, I say goodnight and go to my room. I take off my clothes and get in bed, sighing heavily. Today's been eventful...

As I begin to drift off, I hear footsteps and voices, stopping by what seems like the door next to mine, which is Mick's bedroom. Very obviously Stevie is in there with him. I hear them talking, the sound muffled and I can hardly make out what they're saying, but then I hear her laugh and then say something very close to "Not tonight"...

The bitter truth is staring me in the face, but I refuse to accept it.