Acceptance

Not now

Stevie's POV

These past two weeks have been really great. We managed to move past the drama and concentrated on having fun. There's obvious tension between Mick and Lindsey, but besides that it's all good. I'm so happy to have Christine with me too, I've missed her so much, she's always been like a sister to me that I've never had. After always being surrounded by men, Chris is such a breath of fresh air. Playing our old songs is so much fun, I feel that we're in a lot better shape as a band than we've been since... I'm not even sure we've been this good. 

I've fallen for Lindsey again. I can't stop thinking about him! That kiss a couple of weeks ago still gives me butterflies every time I remember it and I do, I could give anything for him to kiss me that way again. Although, I can't say we haven't been close like that again after, we've stolen kisses and shared intimate embraces, when nobody could see us, but it's just not enough for me anymore. I realize I have to make a decision and very soon. Lindsey is it for me, I want him. I want him in my life.

Mick has started noticing the growing distance between us, I'm sure. He's not stupid, he knows that something has changed. When it was just him and I, things were near perfect, this was a huge risk and he told me that himself. He asked me if Lindsey's presence constantly around us would be a problem. I said that no, I told him I was over Lindsey... And it wasn't a lie, because I sincerely thought I was. Actually, I had no idea what was going on with him at all. I wondered if maybe he found someone and I'm surprised he hasn't. He's difficult, that's true, but once you learn how to deal with him, you realize just what a wonderful man he is and how much love he has to give.

I'm sitting at the vanity, brushing my hair, fresh out of the shower, not blinking as I stare back at myself. What does Lindsey still see in me? He could have any woman he wanted. He's still so fit and handsome. I know men aren't usually called that, but he's absolutely beautiful. My body becomes alive when his hands touch me, when he so gently caresses the side of my face, bringing me into a kiss and my heart just about jumps out of my chest. I've missed running my fingers through those gorgeous curls and his smell... God, he's divine.

The door to the bedroom opens and in comes Mick, I see him smiling through the mirror. He approaches me and kneels behind me, enfolding me in his arms. Now I feel guilty... I don't want to hurt Mick, he's so good to me and I believe he genuinely loves me. How can I tell him that we're over? I would hate to brake his heart. What if there's no way back for us then? What if we can't play in Fleetwood Mac together? This whole wonderful reunion would fall apart all because of me.

"You smell good."

"Maybe because I just showered?"

"Mhm..." I'm not wearing much under my silk robe and he eases the fabric off my shoulders a little, leaving a trail of kisses. He makes me turn around, still kneeling in front of me, as he slips his hands inside my robe, running them over my thighs, where he soon starts kissing as well. "You've got the softest skin."

I half smile, the love and care he has for me is tearing me apart right now. He reaches to undo the sash, but I put my hand over his. "Not now."

"What's wrong with now?" Mick frowns and I don't know what else to say.

"It's, you know..."

"No, not really."

"Well, women stuff..." That has to be the absolutely worst lie I've ever told. 

"Oh." Disappointment clearly written all over his face. "Can we still make out or something?"

"I wish. But, uh... Chris, she asked me to come see her, when I'm done with my shower. She said, she needed my advice on something."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." I nod, taking his face in my hands. "I'm sorry, we can totally make out tonight though." I try to joke and give him a small peck on the lips. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Mick sighs and gets up to his feet, without saying anything else, he leaves the room. Damn you, Lindsey Buckingham! I had such a good, safe, but good, thing going on...

I dress up and go to Chris to ask to cover for me. She gives me that judgmental look and rolls her eyes dramatically sighing. "When are you going to grow up?"

"I'm sorry to be dragging you into this, but I need you to help me out, please." 

"And I will, you know that, but Stevie... Eventually, you will get burnt."

"I hope I won't have to ask you again. If Mick asks, just say that I was in your room and that's all."

"Well, you are in my room."

"Yes, see? So, that's not even really a lie."

"It would be a lot better if you could just make up that mind of yours."

"I need some more time, I have to figure out how to talk to Mick."

Dinner time comes and I make my way into the dining room, where John, Chris and Lindsey are already. We share a quick glance, smiling a little and I go to take my seat, but Mick's voice comes from behind me.

"We're going out."

"What? But dinner is already served, Mick."

"I'm taking you out, Stevie. I thought we could use some time alone."

"But... I... I'm not even ready. I can't go out like this."

"You look beautiful. Come on. Our reservations are in a little over half an hour."

I look at the other three and lock my eyes with Lindsey's for a moment longer and he gives me a tiny nod, to let me know he's okay. I turn to Mick and we head out the door. I get in the passenger's seat and Mick takes the driver's. The drive is spent in silence as is our dinner...