Don't Let Us Go

Irreplaceable

Radio Disney played while Spencer drove back to Air B&B after picking up Gracianna from Jordan's place. He'd been looking for a good time to bring up the subject of Olivia being pregnant and the big changes that were coming for their family. A topic that Gracianna beamed about the last time he saw her the day before last when she left with Simone. However, the little girl hadn't even mentioned the baby since he strapped her into her car seat and hit the road. In fact, Gracianna lips were sealed for a long period after that as well.

Only less than ten minutes away from their destination and his usually bubbly daughter still remained quiet. Peeping into the backseat through the rear view mirror during a red light, Spencer noted how Gracianna starred out of her window with a blank expression. Growing worried, he hit the switch, turning the radio volume down.

"You alright back there, baby girl?" Spencer inquired, hitting the gas pedal as the light turned green, but still keeping his ears open to her response.

"Yes, sir." Gracianna huffed without tearing her gaze from outside the window.

"Are you sure? You haven't asked about your mommy since you got into the car," Spencer noted, knowing Olivia is their daughter's first and last worry before anything else. "You know what you heard yesterday was true? Your mom is going to make you a big sister. Your little sibling is in her tummy," he confirmed, thinking it would spark a smile from her.

Disappointedly, he glanced through the rear view mirror again to see not only was she not smiling but that tears were forming in her little brown eyes. Flaring her nostrils, Spencer's heart broke, listening to her small sniffles they she tried to hide.

"Why are you crying, Cici?" Spencer asked, his worry growing by the moment as he tried his best to keep an eye on the road. Yet finding it impossible not to observe Gracianna through mirror. "Don't you want a little brother or sister? You will have someone to play with at home, go to school with, and teach all sorts of cool things to," Spencer tried to ease the tension. "Doesn't that sound fun?"

"I don't want to be a big sister!" Gracianna squealed sadly through tears, slamming her back against her car seat, crossing her arms and crying harder. "I don't want you to love the new baby more than me!" Tears now falling fast as she sobbed harder.

"What? Baby girl. What are you talking about?" Spencer asked, unsure where this was coming from. Unable to hear her cries without being able to comfort his daughter, Spencer made a quick turn into the suburban neighbor where the Air B&B was located. Instead of continuing to drive until they reached the house, he decided to park a few houses down the block.

Stopping the engine, Spencer rushed to unbuckle his seatbelt, swooshing around in his seat, he faced the backseat where his daughter continued to weep. "Why would you say that, Cici? Huh? I'm not gonna stop loving just because you are having a little sibling. Why would you even think that?" He raged softly, reaching his long arm out to where she trembled in her carseat.

"I heard...unc...uncle jay...and Aun....Auntie..Sisi..." She stuttered through harsh coughs and cries. "You... you..will get..to watch...the baby... know..the baby. Birth..days, first day...of - of schools...first words..first...walk..." She stumbled through her words. "Ev..ever..everything you..you did not....not do with...with ME!" Gracianna whimpered.

"That doesn't mean I will love you any less than the baby," Spencer sighed, unsure how to make her feel better.

"You...will...know...the baby...better...like it...more..th..tha...than ME!" Gracianna responded between sobs.

"I will get to see everything I missed with you, true. And I am sorry that I was not there with you for all of those things, Cici. But I don't love you anyless because I wasn't there. In fact, being missing all of that only makes me love you more." Spencer didn't deny her feelings or pass them off as irrational. "

"I..It...do..does?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and her nose, listening to her dad.

"Yeah, it does," Spencer promised. "You are my very special baby," He added affectionately, "C'mere.." He gestured for her to leave her carseat.

Unbuckling her seatbelt, she climbed from the backseat up to the front seat, sitting on Spencer lamp. Wiping her tears from her eyes, Spencer kissed the top of her head. "You are my firstborn. No matter how much time I missed, nothing will change how I feel about you. The baby isn't going to replace you, Cici," Spencer assured his sniffling daughter as she clung to his chest.

"You promise?" She sniffled.

"Tell you what, starting the day we move into our big house, I want you to pick a day. Any day out of the week," Spencer requested.

"Why?" Cici asked, shrugging her small shoulder and rubbing her buggy eyes.

"That will be our day. Just you and Me," Spencer vowed, "If I have to work, you will come with me to work and help me run the gym. If it's the weekend, we can have a daddy-daughter date. Only us," Spencer vowed, locking his pinky with hers.

"Even after the baby is here?" She pouted in disbelief.

"Even with the baby here. Pick a day, and I'm all yours," Spencer assured her.

Clapping, Cici finally broke out a smile with her reddened nose and buggy irritated eyes. Her small arms wrapped around Spencer's neck, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Daddy," She muttered affectionately.

"I love you too, Cici," Spencer professed emotionally, holding her tightly. "To the moon and stars."

"Past the milky way, daddy," Cici snickered, smiling into her skin.

Patting her back, Spencer gently separated from her. "Alright, c'mon, get back in your carseat," He gently instructed. "Your mom really missed you, so buckle up so I can take you to her."

"Yes, sir," Cici nodded, climbing off her dad through the middle of the car and back into her carseat. Buckling herself back in, she threw a thumbs up, "Ready, Daddy."

Spencer smiled at her through the rear view mirror, glad to finally see her right, toothy grin. Turning the engine back on, he began to drive back down the road, switching radio Disney back on. He laughed when the silence suddenly turned into a concert in the backseat. Never had he been so happy to hear noise.