"C'mon, a few kisses won't ruin anything."
"That's against the rules, though."
"Rules are meant to be broken."
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
In the midst of your friendship, you realise your insecurities hold you back in more ways than one. A newly heartbroken Jungkook se...
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Jungkook ponders about how intricately his mind works when it comes to you. Thinking about you before he sleeps encourages his brain to come up with the most vivid images of you two, even after slumber snatches him away from consciousness.
It's appalling how often you invade his thoughts, actually. Infesting every nook and cranny of his poor, defenseless brain until all he knows his those two little syllables being your name.
Your absence makes him lonely, but knowing your whereabouts has his teeth grinding together. Your time could be well spent with anyone else, so why choose Jey of all people?
Although it frustrates him, he thinks he should resign himself to the role of silent witness, a ghostly spectator haunting the margins of your happiness, offering silent prayers to whatever Gods might deign to listen, that you might emerge unscathed from the crucible of affection, spirit unbroken and heart untarnished by the vagaries of romance.
Still, Jey's an ass.
As proud as he is of you for stepping so confidently out of your shell, he still scratches his head at whether distracting him from one explosion with another is the best way to go about this. Then he thinks he's being stupid and that he should sleep. Sleep instead of laying awake, thinking about you, even though it provides no escape from your face. Dreams his worries away. Groans when he wakes up hard. At least he doesn't feel ashamed for rubbing one out to the thought of your pretty eyes gazing up at him from between his legs, to your back arching in his bed as your fingers tangle in his hair. Because, for all he knows, you could be squeezing your legs together at the thought of him, too.
At this point, he's just as stressed as you are for tonight. Soon as he got home from dropping you off, he allowed a few shots of rum to burn away the icy words creeping up his throat; words about Jey that he kept to himself.
It's a tableau of conflicting emotions, a portait created from colours of loyalty and longing, painted against the backdrop of a world that seemed intent on testing the boundaries of your bond. And though he yearned to voice his misgivings to you before, to warn you of the potholes you so recklessly drive towards, he remained silent, for fear of tarnishing the purity of your friendship with the stain of jealousy.
Because, let's get this straight, Jungkook doesn't get jealous. He isn't the type. Well, not with Iseul he wasn't. That was her role.
He's well aware of his self worth, and nobody can ever let him think he's less than what he is ever again. He's learned well from Iseul, stares at the scars she so generously left on his heart; destroyed it so badly he had to replace it with titanium and diamond. He wishes someone would try pummeling it now.
Iseul got one final hit in at her wedding, made him feel as if were less than nothing for a mere moment, until you kissed his lips and made him forget why his eyes were wet with tears in the first place. No point in dwelling on her infidelity, if she doesn't care, he shouldn't either. He's finished beating that dead horse.
