Don't Want Too

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You shifted nervously on the bench at the park. It was almost dusk, the sun would be setting soon. You picked at the loose threads of your jeans while keeping your eyes alert, scanning the entire area.

Her blue hair finally came into sight.

Billie stuffed her hands in the pockets of her baggy green pants. A red hoodie thrown over her body, the hood of it hiding her head but you were able to spot her blue hair from miles away. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Hey." Billie sniffles, kicking the pebbles on the ground beneath her feet, her eyes avoiding yours.

"Hi." You whispered back. You pattered the empty spot beside you and couldn't help but notice the way Billie hesitated to take a seat, but she did anyway. "Can we talk?"

"What is there to talk about?" Billie tugged at the strings of her hood, enclosing it in on her face.

You sighed as you watched the sun dip just below the horizon, the moon slowly approaching for the night. "Everything. I mean, like, let's start with why you just suddenly stopped talking to me at school, but texted me later that day like everything was okay?"

"Well, everything was okay, so..." Billie trailed off and slightly turned her body away from you, her head bowing down at the ground.

"No, everything wasn't." You countered back, slightly snapping at the girl who pushed her hood off her head. "You avoided me, ignored me when I tried talking to you. I mean, your friends won't even look my way anymore. Why, Billie?"

"Doesn't matter, Y/N." The blue haired girl stood up, dusting her pants off and rolling her sleeves down. "Drop it." She said lowly, barely sparing you a glance over her shoulder as she began walking off, her feet stepping past the gates into a field of tall grass.

"I can't just drop it, O'Connell!" You hugged to yourself as she just continued to ignore your yells of protest. "God, I'm sick of this." You stood up to walk home, but you were desperate for answers. You didn't want to lose Billie after becoming such close friends, and then you did. You couldn't again.

You turned around and began to run towards Billie. "Billie!" You yelled and when she turned to look at you, her eyes slightly widened before her faced hardened. She pulled her hood back on, shaking her head before running further from you.

You looked up at the sky as water droplets began flowing down. "Fuck." You gasped under your breath as you picked up your pace in the field, the ground turning muddy now. "Billie!"

"Why do you care so much?!" Billie screamed back, her feet tripping over themselves a little as she tried running over muddy holes.

"Because you're my friend!" Just as you were able to reach her, she turned around and you stumbled back, falling on your ass.

"Don't you get it?" Billie stared down at you. "I don't want to be your friend." Your face dropped. "I'm tired of hiding it, okay? I've fallen in love with you and I don't want too. It hurts to fall in love, I ruin everything anyway."

"No- you don't." You grunted as you pushed yourself off the ground. You squinted your eyes at her as the rain blurred your vision a little. "You love me?"

"Yeah." Billie scoffed - without thinking - she plopped down on the ground. "Damn it." She cursed when mud got all over her. You began giggling, covering your mouth to hide your smile. Billie looks up at you with a fake angry face, biting back her own smile. "That's funny to you?"

"No, no. Hm- no, it's not funny." You threw your hair over your shoulder as you uncovered your face, biting down hard on your bottom lip, the grin you were holding back became almost unbearable.

"You're laughing at me!" Billie exclaimed in an accusing tone as you burst into giggles, embracing the cold rain.

"Yes I am!" You exclaimed back and let out a loud yelp when Billie yanked your arm to tug you into the mud like she was. "Hey!" You tried sitting up but her arms wrapped around your torso, pulling your wet body on top of hers. "Let me go."

"Not until you say you're sorry~" Billie sang teasingly in your ear, chuckling to herself when you lazily squirmed around in her grip.

"Fine! I'm sorry." You mumbled and Billie let you go, but you didn't move from her arms, you continued to lay on top of her. Your eyes slowly moved up to look into hers. "I missed this."

"Missed what?"

"Us." You gestured between the two of you, Billie's face softened with guilt. "I get you were scared, Bil, I really understand that. I'm not mad, promise. I just wish you talked to me."

"I know." Billie sat up, keeping you in her lap. "I wanted to, but I chickened out. I thought you'd judge me or reject me."

"I could never." You held her face in your wet hands. Billie smiled softly up at you, her eyes glancing down at your lips.

"Can I kiss you?" She whispered quietly to you - the sound of the rain seemed to drown out a little, creating your own world with Billie.

"Yes, please." You breathed out and waited patiently until you felt Billie's gentle lips press against yours. The taste of her chapstick and the smell of her perfume overwhelmed you. You grasped her collar, tugging her closer as she let out a sigh of content.

"I've been waiting for that." Said Billie when you pulled away.

"Me too." You ran your thumb across her cheekbone, kissing her forehead as her heart fluttered uncontrollably. "Me too, baby."

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