Psychotic Love

18.

Psychotic Love

Nicole Scherzinger - Run 

''Mum.'' I whispered underneath my breath, the lady in front of me stared at me with shock in her eyes. 

I took a step back, suddenly feeling sick. I turned my head over my shoulder, and saw that Tristan was smiling with a cigarette lit, dangling in between his fingers.

I ignored the provocative look, and turned back to my 'mother' who's supposed to be dead. Murdered. Gone.

But something made me walk backwards, back to Tristan. 

I felt betrayed. My dad lied to me. 

She wasn't murdered. He lied.

The woman in front of me took a step forward, and looked like she was about to touch my face, that was until I forced myself to run. 

I ran and ran. My feet took me somewhere so far away, I was fuming, angry, upset, betrayed. 

I ran even when my feet wanted me to stop, I pushed myself to go.

Sweat formed around my hairline but I didn't stop to wipe it away, my throat became thirsty from breathing in so hard through my mouth.

My fists were hurting from clenching them so hard, feeling like I need to punch something. Hard.

A voice teased and frightened me as it warned me to go back. Back to the all problems.

But right now, I'm free.

I was pushing anything that got in my way, forcing myself to go even faster when my body told me to stop and take a breathe.

I couldn't. I wouldn't. 

I was taking out all my anger out now, memories flashed through my head, the images of Tristan's devilish smirk, his bruised fists, his tattoos, the darkness in his eyes. 

I never thought someone's eyes could look so dark and dull like his, until I saw mine. They were filled with sadness, and I was empty. I had nothing, I had lost my baby, and I was in love with a psychotic man who wanted nothing but to hurt me.

I was forced to a stop when I got a painful stitch in my stomach, I fell to the ground and kept my head low.

Ignoring the looks I got from people walking by, but to them I looked like I just finished doing a normal job, when really I was running away from my problems and the man who's after me.

It didn't occur to me of where I'm going to go after I've stopped running, but running when I saw my mother just felt the right thing to do. 

I was angry still, and I couldn't stop the tears falling down my face.

''Excuse me, young lady?'' A gentle and elderly voice said above me. 

I looked up whilst I wiped away the large tears. ''Yes?'' I replaced the serious look on my face with a cheerful and gentle one.

''My goodness, you're a fast runner.'' The older woman said, as she placed her hand on her chest. ''Almost made me lose my breathe. But I know that run. That wasn't just a normal run.''

I gulped as I nodded my head. ''I know.'' I stood up to my feet, and felt my knees wobble from how weak I felt. 

''Running from something will never help.'' 

''It some situations, it does.'' I patted away the dirt from my clothes. ''And it did.'' I continued.

''Very well, I hope all is okay soon sweetheart.'' Her pale and wrinkly hand gently was placed on my shoulder in a friendly way.

I wanted to wince and slap away the woman's hand, I didn't like being touched, feeling that they were going to be harm me any second. Just the way Tristan did. 

As the older woman started to walk away, I walked away in the other direction. 

I crossed my arms as I took in deep breaths, I wiped away the cold sweat on my face and hid my face with my hair.

Car sped past, people rushing to get home to their happy families and lives.

A familiar car slowed down next to me, going at the same pace as my walking. 

''You okay?'' I continued to walk, ignoring the bullshit question Tristan asked.

''What do you think? Fucking asshole.'' I cursed himself under my breath in several different ways.

''What's it like knowing that your dad lied to you all this time? And your mum actually ran out on you instead of being murdered?'' If I looked at him right now, I knew he would be smiling as if he was a normal person that just found out good needs.

''I'd rather have her be murdered.'' I said out of spite, but that's how I felt now.

She ran out on me and my dad, and decides she wants to be back now.  

''All these years... All these fucking years of thinking she was murdered, crying over her loss!'' I raged, my voice cracked as I felt myself start to cry again.

That's all I did lately. 

I heard Tristan stop the car, but I continued walking. 

A few seconds later there was a slam of the car door, and Tristan was walking beside me. ''Do you want to go home?''

''To your house?'' I asked.

Tristan nodded his head, waiting for my answer.

''Yeah.''

That's how I ended up in bed, the covers keeping me warm as Tristan layed beside, sleeping peacefully, but I was wide awake because of my thoughts.

My thoughts wondered to Tristan as my eyes watched him sleep. 

He looked so innocent, but yet he was so dark and deadly, his head filled with sick ideas and images. 

I wanted to chuckle, it seemed to be that the person I least expected is the one who hasn't betrayed me. 

My hand hesitantly went to his head and my fingers gently played with his dark hair.  His body moved so that he was now facing me, and I waited a few seconds to make sure he was asleep.

''Keep going.'' Tristan grabbed my hand and placed it on top of his head. 

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling. It was times like these I wondered if I was happier here then I was at home.

I had no life when I had my normal life. I went to school, came back, did homework, fall asleep and repeat.

But now, I have this man in my life, who showed me so much pain physically and emotionally, but my heart is just attached him. 

Why? I ask myself that all the time. Probably because we're crazy as fuck.

I continued to play with his hair softly, loving the feel of his dark hair.

I would of never thought this in my whole entire life before I met Tristan, but I was glad he kidnapped me. 

Tristan pulled me closer towards him with the hand I was playing with his hair, his arm wrapped around me as our faces inches away from each other.

But the sad thing is that I know we will never be like this happy couple it seems like we are now. Tristan will switch, it's normal for that to happen. 

When it seems like everything's fine, something will make him snap and go psychotic again.

I'm just counting the days until it happens, but for now I'll appreciate the one little bit of happiness I got.