Through It All(PTX)

17- Need to Get Better

Avi POV

"How are we supposed to help him? He's always able to slip away from us?"
"Maybe we should send him away..."
"No! He's not insane! He just needs us to show him some love."
"I don't think we'll be able to save him next time!"

"Um guys.. I am awake." Everyone's heads turned towards me. Their eyes sent me pity and I hated every bit of it. "Can you all just stop staring at me? It's incredibly overwhelming."
"Sorry Avi, how do you feel?" Kirstie asked.
"Horrible." I pouted. I noticed both Brinley and Kyra were standing in the back.

"Brinley why the hell are you here?" I mostly mumbled.
"I thought you wanted another chance, Avi."
"I only told you that so you would shut up. I thought I was going to die."
"Oh." I watched a single tear slide down her face. I almost felt bad but after what she did to me she deserved it. She briskly left the room. I never want to see her again.

"When can I leave?"
"You still have five more days?"
"Five more days? I'm fine!"
"Suicide watch." Scott said.
"Oh." I said smally. This is all my fault. I should have succeeded. I would've been much happier, and the rest of the band would not have to constantly worry about me. Now all their focus lays on me.

"Who saved me?"
"You don't remember?" Mitch asked.
"Nope."
"Kyra saw your live stream." I forgot all about that, "and called me in panic. I ran down to the lobby to unlock your room. I thought I was too late Avi. I was so scared. If you died it would've been all my fault because I was too slow. It was horrifying." Mitch explain then hugged me lightly.
"I'm the one who tried to kill themselves, Mitch. It's all my fault regardless." Mitch is the one who saved Scott when they were younger too...
"So you are not going to do it again?" He asked.
"I...I... don't know."

"Please don't. We can't lose you Avi. Without you there is no Pentatonix. Without you we can't go on." Kevin said and they all smiled at me. This is too much pressure. I know they want me around but I can barely handle the screaming in my head.

"We should probably tell the fans your alive. You really scared them during the livestream. It was all over the news." Scott said.
"I'll tweet something, alright?" He nodded. "Does anyone have my phone?"
"Here." Kyra handed me my iPhone and I had more messages than I have ever had before.

I tweeted, "I'm sorry to put you all through that. Please know that Mitch saved me and he's the reason I'm here today. I love you guys. -avi." Fans began replying instantly.

"Thank god!!"
"Avi please don't do this to yourself. We all love you!"
"You scared me so much!"
"I hope you feel better!"
"You're my favorite Avi!"

Thousands of supportive messages came in and a smile ran across my face. Maybe I do have a reason to live.

"I'm so sorry guys. I didn't think I had a reason to live anymore. I didn't know I would create so much damage. Why don't the fans hate me? I never really cared about them. I was just selfish and stupid." Tears ran down my face.
"All that matters is you're still here with us, Avi. We need you." Kirstie said. Her and the rest of the gang formed a group hug around me. For once I felt something I haven't felt in a very long time. Love.

I wish I cared about myself as much as they cared about me. I don't want to be here but at least I have a reason. I have to get better for Pentatonix and for the fans. They deserve much better than me, especially after what I did. I need to get better. I have to.

But what if I can't?

A/N: This is really short. I'll make sure the next one is longer :)