April 12, 2013
Day 12: Write a scene with the world ANGEL in it.
Her face flashed through my head for probably the thousandth time that very day.
She looked like an angel, smiling at me like that with shining eyes as I played her a song I had written unconsciously for her on the roof. I stopped playing and the moon watched over us and the stars were so full of promise, full of hope. I did not know what had gotten over me, but the moment felt so right and so perfect. I remember leaning in, her face getting closer and closer, and then, her drawing back, slowly, reluctantly. And her eyes, full of restraint and hurt and... something so... so... vulnerable.
I wanted to shut my head in an oven or something. How can I be so stupid? What was I thinking? That was the problem, exactly. I wasn't thinking, and I let my emotion carry me away. Little did I know its current would wash me up to almost kissing her.
I took another swig of bourbon.
"Xander," came a voice I recognized too well, "You're getting drunk off your ass again."
Adam sat down on the seat across from me. He motioned for the waitress to come over and ordered a can of beer. Adam can be pretty mellow when he wants to be. He's a responsible guy, which is why he's almost always the designated driver at parties and whatever.
"Why are you here?" I asked him, the alcohol not yet taking its toll on me, but it will. Soon enough.
"You called me, you idiot," he said.
"Right."
"You should really stop with all the drinking business. You're going to end up a fat, balding middle aged man who tries to conceal his beer belly in ugly flannel shirts who spends all his time in a bar and gets excited on Free Beer Fridays."
"And you'd be that guy who comes in the middle of the night, still in his workaholic goody-two-shoe suit and tie who'd bail out his best friend," I added with self-depreciation.
Adam shook his head with a laugh.
"What's wrong now, York?" he asked, opening his can of beer.
"I'm confused, Adam, and I don't know what to do anymore,"I conceded.
Adam froze and gaped at me, his beer halfway to his lips. He'd gone slack-jawed as well. Then, he looked around the place as if checking if anyone we knew was listening in and leaned across the table conspiratorially.
"You're gay?" he whispered.
"Dude! Not that confused!" I quickly amended.
Comically, relief crossed his face as he leaned back in his chair and let out a breath. He was seriously doubted my gender conviction for a moment there? And here I was thinking, he was joking!
"So, what's it about?" Adam tried again, finally back on track.
"It's Chantelle and Caitlin," I muttered, reluctant to share my dilemma with a person, and not an inanimate object for the first time.
"They're not getting along?"
"No, but that's not the main problem," I said.
"Well, what is?"
"I think I like Caitlin," I finally confessed.
Adam choked on his drink and looked at me aghast, struggling with choking and keeping the beer from spluttering out from his nose. Then, his face broke out in a huge smile that almost stretched up to his ears.
"Weeell! It's about time!" Adam hollered like a lottery ticket winner.
"What?" I said stupidly, thrown back by his reaction.
"It's been quite obvious you like the girl! About time you've had the brain cells to realize it for yourself and admit it! I thought that was some mighty good news! Is it not?" Adam hesitated, his wide toothy smile faltering a little at my lack of enthusiasm.
"No!" I cried throwing my hands up in the air," It's not good news! I've got a girlfriend! I can't go liking Caitlin! We have a deal! And a plan! It's all calculated and planned out, this... this... thing would just interfere and mess everything up! I'm in love with Chantelle!"
"But you like Caitlin, too."
"Or maybe...not?" I shrugged, trying to play it down.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Adam asked suspiciously.
"I might not like her," I took a breath, "Like maybe I love her?"
I winced once I got it out and Adam just looked at me. Then, he smiled sagely making me feel stupid all of a suidden again.
"What?"
"You think you love them both?'
"Now, you see my dilemma!" I exclaimed.
"Actually, I don't. I don't think there's a problem here. It's fairly simple to me," he said sipping his beer again, trying to act all mysterious.
"But I have a girlfriend and suddenly, I'm in love with a wife I'm not supposed to fall in love with! How can you think it's simple? Can I actually be in love with two girls?" I asked, half-mad.
"Xander," Adam fixed me with his serious look," If you really loved the first, you think you would have fallen in love with the second?"
