I Say You Kill Your Hero's and Fly, Fly; Baby, Don't Cry.

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Melanie’s POV

I stood on the city bus and gripped the poll to steady myself, trying to ignore the stares of the other passengers. I can only imagine how I look. Old makeup, arm bloody, legs scarred, face bruised (Still.) I took a deep breath, I’m almost there, I think, I’m fine, just a little longer. Dr. Braham told me to come in immediately… again. I’m only hoping that this time I won’t be stuck in the waiting room for half an hour—I don’t know how much longer I can stand in public without having a breakdown. I caught sight of the hospital and pulled the bright yellow cord that signaled the driver to stop. Right when the doors opened I rushed out of there, not even trusting my voice enough to let out a quick ‘Thank you’.

My pace slowed down as I approached the cold building, feeling my insides drop, what will he say? I thought about running away again, I hate this. I hate bad news. I hate impending doom. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? What happened to ignorance? … I liked it. I was about to turn around when I caught sight of Dr. Braham standing in front of the hospital doors, his hands clasped behind his back as he squinted against the sun. Once he caught sight of me he waved and started jogging across the parking lot to meet me half way, his white coat flying behind him.

“Melanie, oh, I’m so glad you made it,” He sighed, wrapping his arms around me. I stiffened at his touch, not knowing what to do. This is not an act ofprofessionalism. I think he realized this too and stepped back quickly, clearing his throat and gesturing towards the hospital, “Shall we?” I nodded and followed him into the building, getting chills as I walked through the big automatic doors. We headed down a labyrinth of hallways until we made it to an examination room. I looked at him, confused,

“I was thinking we should check on the little one,” He smiled, making a motion my tummy as I looked at a plush looking reclined bed. I nodded and took his hand as he helped me into the seat. He pressed a buzzer on his belt and started flipping some monitors on, pushing buttons and plugging in cords. I had just settled in when a nurse poking her head in the door,

“You buzzed?” She asked with a smile, her pixie cut blonde hair spiked up a bit. Dr. Braham nodded and returned the smile,

“This is Melanie Tommons, all of the other ultrasound technicians left about an hour ago for a dinner break, so I was wondering if you could check on her baby while I sort through some of her paperwork.” That word resonated with my heart, making it ache. Paperwork… probably about the cancer.

I shook my head.

No, I can’t think of that now. I can’t—I’m about to look at my baby—I need to stay positive. Dr. Braham gave me a slight nod as he exited, leaving me alone with the nurse.

“Could you please reveal you stomach?” She asked with a smile, bringing over a tube of gel, I nodded and unbuttoned the bottom of Phil’s checkered shirt until it reached just under my bust before pulling the flaps away, revealing my still-flat tommy. She stopped for a second before spreading the gel, a little cold, “How far along are you?” She asked, turning back around to grab something that looked like a top-heavy bar scanner that you see as the grocery store—apparently called a transducer.

“Um.. I-I don’t know.” I said, trying to remain calm.

Stay calm. Breathe. Breathe.

She just nodded and put the transducer over my stomach, moving it around a bit as she looked at the screen. I cleared my throat,

“I, um, had a few drinks before I knew I was pregnant… what does that mean for my baby?” I choked out, staring at the monitor, praying for something to appear. The nurse gave me a smile,

“Your baby is most likely fine. Things like this always happens, as long as you don’t drink anymore, it should be fine.” I nodded letting out a breath. I looked down at my tummy and smiled,

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