Love is everything (ON HOLD)

Chapter 13. Listen.

We go inside. It's so cool. "Wow! I really like it." I smile. "Let me show you around." She shows me the kitchen, they're rooms, where they practice. "And finally, this would be yours and Ross's room. And it's connected to the baby's room." I gasp. "This is.. Thank you so much. I'll talk to Ross later. Um, can we get those pictures. And can you still help me with my hair?" She nods.

We get them and go back to the store. I bought the dye and we went to my house. "Alright girlie, let us get to you're hair." I take off my top and we go upstairs to the bathroom. I feel like this time took longer than the first time but I like it. She also layered it and it looks cuter. It's not super long anymore but I like it. "Aw, thank you. I love it. Do you think Ross will like it? I mean like, what if he hates it?! He's going to leave me?" I cry. "Oh no hun. He loves you. He will love it." I get up and go to my closet. "Ugh! I don't want to wear clothes. I put on a sports bra and spandex. "McKenna you're, twins are hanging out the top of that bra." I shrug. "I feel so big. And it's a really hot day. Look at you, you have on shorts and a cute top. You look so pretty." I frown. "You look pretty too. Lets look at these photos."

We get the album and sit on the bed. We've been flipping through for a few hours. "Oh my gosh! Is that pie on his face?!" I am dying of laughter. "Yeah! He wanted to be cool and so we told him it was cool and he shoved it on his face." This was the greatest thing of life. She's rolling on the floor laughing and I'm literally crying.

"Hey ba- What is this?" Ross says. I try to speak but I can't. He looks at the album. "Rydel you showed her these?! Why would you do that? That is so embarrassing!" He exclaims. We finally calm down. "Baby, why are you barely wearing anything?" I sigh. "Clothes are overrated honestly." I say. "So you notice anything different?" I say worried. Then his phone rings. He answers it.

"Sorry I have to take this." I sigh and look at Rydel. "He said that I am all he notices and he can barely give me five minutes of his day. I just want five minutes. Even a second of his time would be nice." I say letting a tear escape my eye. "I can talk to him if you want..." I shake my head. "I want to stick up for me. I don't like feelings but I need to tell him how I feel. I will tell him." She nods. "Um, talk to him about the house too and then text any of the band members. Maybe me. You can keep the album with you. Text me. Bye. And Rianna. Love you." We hug and she leaves. I sit on the bed. I hate admitting my feelings. It's weird. I rub my belly.

"You know Rianna, daddy does love us. He's just busy. He loves you very much. We both do and we can't wait to meet you. Daddy is um, very distracted. He doesn't always pay attention to me. But I love you. I will always pay attention to you. I know you can hear me and you can't answer because you're just a baby but I don't know if he sees me the way I see him. I'm scared. I get that he's busy but I just wish he'd... He didn't notice my hair. He did just get home but it would have been nice if he said anything. But honey I love you so much. I am going to spoil you and get you lots of nice clothes and shoes. You'll be absolutely beautiful. I know it. And I know that you love me too." I felt a kick. I know she's listening.

Ross comes back. But he goes to the bathroom. I sit outside the door. "Ross?" I call. "Yeah!" I sigh. "We have to talk." I say. "About what?" He responds. "Can you please-" I hear the shower. I sigh and sit on the bed. He's not going to listen. I get up and change for bed. I slowly open the door.  "Ross?" I call. "Huh? Yeah." Maybe he'll listen this time. "I um.. Did you notice anything different about me?" I ask. "Like what?" I sigh. I'll just have to say it. "I dyed my-"

"I'm getting soap in my mouth. I can't talk." I give up. I wash my face and go to bed. I lay still and let the tears fall. I hear the door open. "Wow, that was a great shower. So relaxing!" I lay still. "Baby are you still awake?" I try to stay as quiet as I can. "We can talk tomorrow. I love you babies.." He kisses my cheek and leaves.