Outlawry

Chapter 45 - Ava

^^^^^ (I will upload the song tomorrow teehee) Song that I wrote for Luther!!! Just a little input into what he feels. I don't know why, but I write better songs for my characters than for my actual emotions. Maybe cuz I don't have emotions. Boys suck... Anyway, please enjoy!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My arm healed surprisingly quickly for the wound that Luther had inflicted. With the force and velocity behind his thrust, it was meant to kill someone. Even if that someone wasn't me. The blade had torn through my muscles and shattered the surrounding bone. It went all the way through my shoulder and had just nicked Nate's chest.

As scheduled, I left the hospital on Wednesday evening, my heart heavy in my chest. I had so many feelings that were built up inside of me. I didn't realize that they had been hidden in my heart until I had learned of Luther's arrest. My heart sort of sunk when I heard it. I don't know why, but I had secretly hoped that he would some how make another one of his great escapes and come back for me. Because, deep inside, I knew that if he had escaped, it would've been inevitable.

And Gomez. If I was going to get justice and put Luther away, I wanted it all. I wanted every last bit of justice that I could squeeze out of the court trial. And it angered me that Gomez didn't stick around to face his consequences. I would've never been kidnapped if it wasn't for him. Luther never would've been suspected if it wasn't for him. If he had just stayed out of the way, Luther and I would've worked things out on our own. At least, that's what I wanted to think.

It was a strange sensation, feeling a certain, non-hateful way towards a cold blooded killer like Luther. Almost as though I was a killer my self. For there was no excuse for what he did. He had no reason, no explanation for killing any of the people that he did. Yet, I still felt pity for him. It was like he wasn't even human. In fact, he was the ultimate culmination of human sin. An extraterrestrial. And I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

And I had no excuses for my feelings either. I was absolutely certain of how I felt about him.

I was in love with him.

And I hated myself for it. How anyone could've loved anything so twisted, so writhen, so (forgive me) fucked up beyond repair, is beyond me. But there was positively no doubt. I loved the pitiful creature.

Over the course of the next day while being bed-stricken, I finished reading Outlawry. How did it end, one may ask? Well, exactly how you might predict my story would end. The mobster got caught in some odious act, trying to proclaim his love for the unrequited love interest, and was sent to prison. The End. Pretty dull ending, wouldn't you say?

Yes, it is. To think, that this entire, incredible journey that Luther had taken me on would be ended abruptly by his sentence, makes me want to go wild. I thought that he was finally getting better. Once we returned from the ghetto, I thought that he had finally had an epiphany. But then he went and killed Sam. And tried to kill Nate. I would've been willing to give him a second chance, maybe even a third, if he deserved it. But even for him, he totally crossed the line. Even though my feelings for him were there without a doubt, I still dreaded when I would have to see him in court.

But, just like any day, Friday came just as quickly as any other.

Friday morning was a tedious, grey morning, full of November gloom and my emotions reflecting in the weather. Mother had awoken me early in the morning to help me get dressed for the trial. I wore a plain, black dress suit jacket and a pencil skirt, my arm sling hanging out of one side of my jacket. I hadn't thought of it until then, but the week prior, Luther had gotten shot in the shoulder. And that meant that we would be both wearing arm slings around our shoulder's. We would be matching. I smirked a little at the thought, but immediately snapped out of it when I realized how absurd it was.