Not All Hockey Boys Are Bad

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Jack didn't move as I climbed up the fire escape. I knew he was watching me. His eyes burned into my back, with what emotion, I had no clue, but I kept going until I reached the top of the ledge he was sitting on.

I hoisted myself up, setting my butt against the ledge as my feet dangled. Although it was only a two story building, I refused to look down. I wasn't good with heights and if it wasn't Jack out here sitting on the ledge, I probably would've stayed inside where I could feel solid ground below me.

"Rosie..." Jack muttered his hand rolling the bottle of Vodka against his thigh. If he hadn't had such a tight grip on the thing I would've thought he would've drop it. "Y-ou s-shouldn't... You shouldn't be here."

Jack reached his free hand up to his face, swiping at his cheeks. Even now in his vulnerable state he was trying to hide his feelings from me.

"Why shouldn't I be? We've been looking all over for you." I bite out, but quickly regret my tone as I see Jack flinch. He's hurt. That much was clear, he was also drunk. Drunk enough, to let some of his guard down. Drunk enough to led a tear slip from his eye.

He turned away from me, knowing I saw the fresh set of tears breaking through. "No one should look for me. I hid up here for a reason."

Jack sniffed and took a swig from the bottle. It hurt to seem this way. It was partly my fault he was acting like this. If I hadn't been so stubborn about his past,or if he hadn't pushed me away again. Maybe we were both to blame for his condition as he sat on the roof.

I looked down at my hands, not really sure what I should say, that's when I saw Cole's head pop out of the window I just crawled out of, he looked up to us in relief. Jack didn't notice him, and before he could I shooed Cole back inside.

It was clear Cole wanted to argue but he went, happy enough that we had at least found him.

"Jack... We were worried-I was worried." I reached out to wrap his free hand into mine but he pulled away before our skin even touched.

"Don't. No one should worry about me. I'm not worth worrying about." Jack shoved the bottle of vodka behind him. It landed on the roof, not getting too far. The contents pooled out, making the air around us smell of alcohol.

My heart ripped at his words. I recoiled my hand, wrapping my arms around myself. "Don't say that."

Jack laughed bitterly. "And why not? You think I'm a horrible person...and you're not wrong."

I shivered not from the cold but from his words. He couldn't even manage
to look at me. His eyes were glazed over, he had clenched his jaw trying to hold the tears back.

"I'm a no good hockey player. I'm bad, no matter how hard I try to be good I'll always be bad. I push away so many people, I don't deserve to be looked for anymore. I-I should just be left a-alone." His voice cracked and I watched as another tear broke through and slid down his cheek.

My own eyes teared up. This boy beside me was hurt. Had been hurt for awhile. He's been trapped behind the walls he'd built himself to keep people away but he only managed to keep him and his terrible thoughts in.

I refused to believe he was a bad person because of what he did freshman year. It was a wrong and terrible thing to do but that didn't change who he had become now. He had walls to get past, but he'd changed, I had seen it. I had seen it every time he goofed off with his team on the ice or at dinner. I had seen it in the way he had taught me how to shoot a hockey puck when I was upset that one day. He wasn't that selfish boy anymore. He was much more than that.