Take Me To Church

Chapter 23: I Didn't Know My Own Strength

I woke up to a dark room, I looked over to were Eric was suppose to be lying and I saw he wasn't there. I sat up and covered myself with my blankets. I looked over to the window, it was cracked open and I went over to it to look out of the window.

I stood up and I wrapped my sheets around me. I stuck my head out of the window and I saw Eric sitting there smoking a cigarette, and looking out into the night. I leaned my hands on the window sill, and looked at him curiously, "Can't sleep?" I asked.

He turned around a little startled, he ran his hand through his hair and shrugged his shoulders, "Not really." He replied, "I find it hard..." He added.

I looked around and noticed that the moon was full, the crickets were chirping and the warm wind was rustling the leaves on the tress, "Why...?"

"It's hard to sleep when you have a lot on your mind." He replied.

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and I climbed out of the window with the sheets still wrapped around me. I walked over to Eric and I sat down beside him. I glanced up at him and I admired his features in the moonlight, "Talk to me..."

He took a puff of the cigarette before he rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand, and he looked at me with a slight smirk, "I don't know if you can handle it."

"There's so much you don't know about me..." I said as I slightly shook my head at him.

Eric blew out some smoke and he scratched his eyebrow, "Is that right...?" He whispered.

"Why is it so hard to believe?"

"You...I don't know..." He trailed off, "You seemed to have your stuff together more than I do..." He added.

I chuckled sarcastically at his comment and I looked out to the moon, "Don't judge a book by it's cover..." I stated.

I felt Eric's eyes on me and I turned my head towards him to see him looking at me curiously, "What's your story...?"

"I asked you first..."

"And I asked you second..." He smirked at me.

I small smile crept across my face and I shook my head, "Funny."

We sat there for a minute, it was completely silent and all you could hear were the sounds of nature, "I'm thinking about my mom..." He said out of the blue.

I looked up at him and he took a long drag of his cigarette, "You miss her...?" I asked curiously.

Eric looked towards the moon, he bit his lip and nodded his head, "Yea." He replied, "My mom had big hopes and dreams for me." He added.

"Like what?"

Eric shrugged his shoulder and looked down, "It doesn't matter anymore..."

I looked at him sympathetically and brought my knees up to my chest, "Of course it does." I stated and he looked at me with a painful look, "Your mother may have died, but, her dreams for you didn't." I added truthfully.

"You don't understand..." He replied, "You've never lost somebody and you don't have someone controlling who you are." He added.

I looked back at him with a hurt expression, "That's what you think?" I said a little hurt, "I may have never lost somebody, but, I know what it feels like to have somebody try and control who you are." I added slightly upset.

Eric looked back at me slightly surprised and his eyes had the look of guilt in them, "Talk to me..." He said to me.

I licked my lips and hesitantly showed him my wrists; which had healed scars from a couple of years from cutting. Eric looked at my wrists in shock and he was speechless, "What happened?" He asked with slight concern.

I pulled my arms back and I wrapped them around my knees, "For a couple of years I was in a abusive relationship, and he hurt me...bad." I explained.

"That's why you cut yourself?"

"It was a way to feel..." I said with pain-filled eyes, "I did lose somebody..." I added.

Eric looked at me curiously and asked, "Who...?"

I looked up at him, "Myself..." I replied, "I didn't know my own strength." I added.

"What happened?"

"I decided I didn't want to be that person anymore and so...I left." I answered his question.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'm not." I said, "It taught me to be cautious when trusting people, and especially when it came to relationships..." I added.

"Did you ever trust anyone else?" He asked.

I looked up at him and gently shook my head, "No..." I replied.

"Oh..."

"Until I met you..." I stated hesitantly.

Eric looked at me with surprise and confusion, "You shouldn't get involved with me..."

"Isn't it already too late?" I asked.

"It's never too late." He replied.

"That's my choice." I said as I looked up at him and I slightly bit my lip.

Eric looked down and took a puff of his cigarette, and wrapped his arms slightly around his knees, "I don't get you." He slightly chuckled.

"Is that a bad thing?"

Eric glanced at me and gave me a slight smirk, "I kind of like it..." He whispered, and he continued to smoke his cigarette.

I couldn't help but to look at Eric and admire his features. He looked down at me a little confused, "What...?"

My eyes moved to his cigarette, I took it from his hands and I stubbed it out on the roof. My eyes moved back to Eric's eyes and his mouth was slightly opened. I grabbed his right hand and I moved it my left breast which was covered by the sheets, "Feel me..." I whispered.

Eric looked at me with lust in his eyes, he gently grabbed my right arm and placed gentle kisses on wrists where the scars were. He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, and he gently kissed me, "I love you..." I heard him whisper in the heat of the moment.

I didn't respond to it, and I wasn't sure how to. I just kept throwing myself deeper into the sensation his lips were creating and moved the sheets down revealing my breasts.

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Dear Readers,

I like how this chapter came out. Let me know what you guys think!

QOTD: Can anyone recommend a good 80's fan-fiction for me to read? Do you think there's going to be something that's going to tear them apart?

Sincerely, Ana XD