good morning, sunshine

the twenty-first text

he was taken by surprise. but when, he wrapped his arms around her, genevieve relaxed. perhaps her friendship with him could be salvaged. she had lost her b e s t  f r i e n d. she had lost xavier once. and now she had found him. 

"can i ask you a question?" 

"you just asked one," she said, resorting to sarcasm and humour, something she did when nervous. she nodded, regaining her seriousness, "of course you can, x."

"what did i do wrong?"

with those five words. with that one question, genevieve saw it. she saw herself. lennon had faced and was currently facing an everlasting battle, and with that, he shut everyone out. even the one person, who cared for him immensely -herself. and that was what genevieve had done to xavier. she was so confused, when lennon had abruptly stopped texting. when he put up his wall. but he had offered some sort of explanation. genevieve; she had simply closed her doors and shut xavier away. for months. 

he deserved an explanation. 

"when my mom and dad got their divorce," genevieve started, "i was devastated. you know that, x. i thought that it would be better to distance myself. from everyone."

he said nothing, and she was thankful for that. 

"everyone thought i was the perfect girl, with the perfect family. nobody knew that my parents argued every night. that my mom had been unhappy with my father for the longest time. they fell out of love."

his eyes held understanding. 

"i was far from perfect. everyone coped in there own ways. mom occupied herself to no extent, trying to avoid my father. my dad worked extra hours. he didn't need to. but he wanted to be away.  ryder barely lived with us anymore. he stayed at his friends'  houses, partying all night."

xavier nodded, with a sigh, "ryder."

"mine was being alone. i didn't want you to think i was anything less, or that i came from anything less than what you had thought. that my family was barely a family."

she decided to refrain from telling him that she had also been slightly jealous of him. she longed for a family like xavier's. his mother and father treated her like a daughter, but at the end of the day, she called another woman and father 'mom and dad.'

she drew a breath, "so i pushed you away, x. i missed you so much. but, i didn't want to drag you into my problems."