The Fault in Our Kifflom

Chapter 9 - De Sandwich

My phone buzzed as I shuffled down the steps of Ponsonbys towards my car. A new suit always knew how to make me feel better about my awful life. As I climbed into the car and slammed the door shut, I pulled my phone from my pocket. My eye caught a glimpse of the name on the screen and my heart began to skip beats and I could feel my head spin slightly. Marnie's message resided on the screen, demanding to be read. I quickly opened it, not wanting to keep her waiting for a reply. It was a thank you for the car I had delivered and a reminder of which car was next on the list. I felt warm inside thinking that she had actually taken the time to acknowledge my efforts. She probably didn't care though and it was probably just a formality that Cris had put in place. Truth is, I had been losing my mind over a woman who probably didn't even care about my existence for over a month now and it was killing me.

As I drove through the Vinewood Hills my phone buzzed again. I quickly pulled over to check it and to my great surprise, it was Marnie again.

"Meeting next Tuesday. 3:30. Literal Heart of Cris. See you there ;)"

My chest ached again. The fucking wink. Surely this wasn't intended for me? I didn't reply. I didn't know how but it made me more determined to find the remaining cars before the next meeting.

A Benefactor Surano was next on my list. I knew where to find one easily enough, luckily. A woman who I may or may not of 'met' whilst still married to Amanda happened to own one and only lived on the Lake Vinewood Estates. I drove through the hills, trying to repress any memories that came flooding back of my time shared with her. It's fair to say I felt no remorse about robbing her blind because quite frankly, she was a bitch.

As I pulled into the estate I received some strange looks from people passing by, probably because I was unknown around here and they believed I was there to raid their homes. Clearly, they were right in thinking that. Swinging the car into the cul-de-sac, I noticed that the Surano was not parked in the driveway. I waited for a while to see if she was coming back.

After what seemed like hours of waiting (and probably looking like a creep) I decided it was time to leave. Maybe she'd moved out? I mean, it had been, what, two years since I last saw her? As I drove up the street, I saw it. Same black Surano, same black-hearted bitch inside. I parked my car at the end of the lane and ran back up it as fast as my fat, old man legs could carry me. As I reached her drive, I saw her get out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition and the door open as she ran into the house. Now was my opportunity. I hastily clambered into the car and sped out of her driveway. She screamed, running from the house as I swung the car out of the cul-de-sac. Neighborhood Watch would be alerting the police soon enough and I needed to make a quick getaway.

I drove for miles, weaving in and out of traffic and watching for any signs of police but oddly there was none. This was apparently the easiest getaway I had ever done, and I had done plenty. With the coast very obviously clear, I drove to the hills and deposited the car into the same garage as the Vacca, although that was clearly long gone. I pulled my phone from my pocket to see it was only 3pm, plenty of time to grab another car and hopefully impress Marnie.

The Declasse Tornado would be straightforward considering most of the trailer trash in Sandy Shores owned one. I drove back to the Estate in a car that I had 'borrowed' from a passer-by. My car still sat in the same place, luckily enough. I parked the SUV and exited it, making my way over to my car with caution considering it had only been an hour or so since I had robbed the place and people had most defiantly seen my face. After reaching the car I decided it was time for a little road trip. Sandy Shores was a few hours away at least but I could probably make it before sundown. Whilst driving through Great Chaparral I witnessed some pretty weird shit. Police chases and the casual murder of suspects was normal.

I found a Tornado with some random hillbilly who smelled like Logger Light and dog piss.

The drive back to LS was long and uncomfortable seen as the Tornado ran like an old man and was hotter than Southern Paleto Bay.

I pulled the car into the Epsilon garage, parked the car, and went to get a sandwich. hfhfjs