The Fault in Our Kifflom

Chapter 15 - Exercising the Truth Part 1

 I did as Marnie instructed me and wore the Epsilon robes for ten consecutive days. $25,000 for a set of Epsilon robes, though, seriously? What the fuck was that about. Maybe I was being conned, but I didn't care, 

'Whatever it takes to be with Marnie' I thought. 

Once my ten days were over, I got an email for Cris Formage: 

"Greetings, Brother Brother, I have been observing your progress throughout your journey and must say I am pleased. I have been communing with Kraft; we wish to summon you to the lost corner of San Andreas in the desert. Kifflom."Oh brother, brother what have I gotten myself into. 

*** 

It took me about three hours to drive out to the destination Cris had informed me about. My Epsilon robes stunk, but the night breeze from the desert cooled me down as I drove on. However the trees were getting increasingly more annoying due to the fact they wouldn't talking, but the conversation wasn't very interesting. 

"Would these trees please, SHUT UP?!" I shouted out of the car window. As the LS sun rolled and rose over the San Chianski Mountain Range, arrived at a forgotten caravan park in the middle of the sand dunes where I found Marnie, Jimmy Boston, and a man named Tom, standing in front of the aged caravan. As I parked, Jimmy and Tom stepped forward to greet me, in contrast, Marnie took a couple of steps back and leant on the wall of the caravan, arms folded. She did not go inside the caravan and instead decided to stay and watch me. 

"Kifflom Brother-father, you now know we're not alone," Said Tom as he marched towards me, 

"And you've discovered the importance of higher beings, like me, as people to worship and look up to as I guide you to the truth." Added Jimmy Boston. Tom grabbed my arm and brought me closer to him as Boston said 

"Here, this is your medal, for your achievements so far". Jimmy pulled a gold medal from his jacket, bearing the Epsilon symbol and without hesitation, put it around my neck. Jimmy and Tom both did the Kifflom salute and hummed as they looked at me in awe. 

"Cris is very happy with you." Said Jimmy. Suddenly, as if from the heavens, a loud speaker came on projecting Cris' deep and authoritative voice: 

"Indeed I am. You have achieved great things but it is as the blink of the eye, unless you achieve more, you shall not survive the apocalypse" 

"Cris has spoken!" Said Jimmy and Tom in perfect synchronization. 

"Kifflom!" I said whilst doing the salute. 

"Michael, you've nearly made it to our paradigm, at a reasonable price of course, but we need you to make another small donation to Cris at the Epsilon centre in the city." Said Tom. 

"But first! You must wear your medal, and your attire, and run five miles through the desert!" Exclaimed Jimmy. Him and Tom both gave each other a nod, looked to me and then marched off. Five miles through the fucking desert! Are they being serious! How much does one man need to do to reach enlightenment in this program. 

"Kifflom." I signed to myself. All this time, Marnie was still standing against the caravan, arms folded, staring at me. I gave her a sad smile, she returned the heartbreaking gesture and gave me a gentle nod. 

"I'm gonna do this for you." I said to her, then I turned and ran into the sunrise.