Dear Scott,
It's safe to say I miss you
When I walk the halls alone
It's safe to say I miss you
When I realize
How much I’ve grown
It's safe to say I miss you
When I wonder where you are
It's safe to say I miss you
When I trace this invisible scar
It's safe to say I miss you
As the days all melt away
It's safe to say I miss you
When there's nothing left to say
It's safe to say I miss you
When I'm falling through a crack
It's safe to say I miss you
When I realize
You’re never
Coming back
I’ll meet you at your locker before 2nd hour.
I read Scott’s text over and over again, checking the clock periodically as I waited. Four and a half minutes left in my first hour, four and a half endless minutes standing between Scott and me.
I texted him an hour or so early, requesting we talk in person. I had been dealing with the silence all week, the words that had fallen between us the previous Sunday still fresh in my mind. After telling Scott how I felt, he avoided me like the plague, taking alternate routes to his classes and leaving band early for lunch. I wanted to fix things, had to fix things. I could handle just being friends with Scott, but not having him in my life at all? No way. On Tuesday, Steven suggested I give the situation space… that Scott would wander back after a few days. But by the time Friday rolled around, I was going crazy with worry, the graceful butterflies that had flapped around my stomach had been replaced by heavy ones that continued to thud around, my only companions in my sleepless nights.
I wished I could’ve taken back everything I said in the car. Wished I had just let the part of me that was falling for him die out without a word ever being spoken between the two of us. Not saying something was what kept our friendship going, the unspoken nature of my feelings hidden in the depths of my heart. But it wasn't fair. It was like somehow the way I felt was wrong… how could my feelings be wrong when they were feelings? They weren't facts, no one was trying to argue a side… I liked Scott. It was plain and simple. And yet somehow it was wrong. I couldn't speak my feelings and when I finally had, I messed everything up.
The bell rang then, sending waves of anxiety rippling through my chest. I stood, packing my bag slowly, trying to keep my feet as I made my way to the door. The hallway was full of sleepy students, exhausted from the endless week of dealing with teachers and school drama. They moved around me, unaware of what was racing through my mind, the hurricane of emotions destroying my sanity.
I rounded the corner, my locker coming into view, Scott leaning casually against it, listening to his iPod. Pausing, I stared at him, looking him up and down as I took him in, the Nikes, the jeans, the dark flannel, his free hand pressed into his pocket, his tired eyes as they stared at the floor, his rounded nose… maybe the last time I’d see him leaning against my locker. I had seen him there so many times, waiting for me. And I wondered then if that would be the last time he'd be standing there. I had taken all the other times for granted, living day by day, never once wondering what would happen if the time came when he would no longer be waiting there.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Scott
Teen Fiction"Growing up around fairytales, Disney princesses and teen films, we are raised to believe that happy endings are always in store for us. But more often than not, reality sinks in, and the happy ending doesn't occur. Especially in high school. The ma...
