Siren

Chapter Thirty

"HELP ME UNDERSTAND." Stephanie walks into my office, throwing a pile of papers onto my desk. I look at the pages, upside down, and recognize my own words and feelings displayed on a piece of plain, white paper with black ink.

"Understand what?" I ask, turning the pages around and flipping through them. I haven't written such a long entry for the blog, and this one is a full four pages printed out. Single spaced. Everything in my head is splayed across the pages in intimate detail for anyone to read. Stephanie has made notes all over the page in red ink. Not editorial notes however, just reactions to what was written.

"Why are you freaking out about this?" She asks, making herself comfortable in one of the chairs facing my desk.

"Because Stephanie. I'm using him," I say, looking down at the pages again.

I could fall for you. Sticks out within the paragraph and I have to look away.

"He likes you. You clearly like him so the rest is just background noise." She dismisses my fears with a single sentence and I want to roll my eyes. On one hand, she has a point. I do like him and it seems that he likes me but the background noise is deafening.

"But I'm lying." I point out.

"Everybody lies about who they are, not just you."

"But I'm benefitting from the lie and he's going to end up hurt, betrayed."

"Oh don't be so dramatic," she laughs. "He's a guy. He's getting laid. And, from a PR standpoint, he's currently getting excellent publicity."

I click open the browser I was looking at before she walked in. I don't know why I had felt the need to hide my google search, Stephanie has been keeping up with the gossip more than I have.

There, in full HD color, is photo after photo of Harry and I. On the red carpet. At the after party. Getting into the limo. Walking into his building. There are hundreds of photos of the two of us from every angle. I look absolutely smitten in most photos and I feel ridiculous as I notice how often I was caught looking at him.

I embarrass myself.

My cell phone rings, it's Harry. I let it go to voicemail. I can't sit here and talk to him with Steph over my shoulder.

My phone rings again, moments later, and I know he's just going to keep calling if I don't answer this time.

"What?" My tone is clipped and I feel bad for a short moment but it quickly passed. There is so much going on in my world right now that I don't even know what I am thinking half the time. Hell, I'm leading a double life! Well, I'm leading a new life, my old one all but forgotten.

"I have an appointment with my real estate agent set for 3:00," he says. In the background, I can hear the hustle and bustle of a busy city street. I stand from my desk and look out over London from my window, wondering where he is among the masses.

"What if I'm busy?"

"Your not."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you want to see me." I can almost hear the grin plastered to his beautiful face.

"Fine." I sigh. "I will meet you in my buildings lobby at 3."

"Good girl."

"Only sometimes," I hang up before he can catch me giggling at my own audacity. Stephanie is smiling as if I have just proved her point for her and I can't argue that I have.

"Fine. I'll stop over thinking things."  I groan.

"Good girl," she repeats Harry. "Now upload the latest blog post and get over to Tammy's building, it's already 2:30."