Fate (Boyxboy)

Can't Help Falling in Love

August 25, 2022

As soon as the cabin is in sight, my heart is gunning and my knees are growing weak. Maybe this is a bad idea, what if I can't convince him? Perhaps this will just make everything worse. What if he--

"You know you'll regret it if you don't," Seth says softly, having turned off the car already.

Taking a deep breath I close my eyes, willing myself to cling to every ounce of courage left inside me before stepping out and shutting the car door with an echoing slam. The sound must have alerted people though, because instantly the cabin door is flying open and soon my friends are piling out, running towards me with looks of relief and of course, my ever lovely best friend walks up to me and I squeeze my eyes shut, preparing for the smack.

But, it doesn't come. Zoe simply envelopes me in a tight hug, crying into my shoulder and mumbling things about how I'm a jerk-butt for worrying her. Leah follows suit, not crying, but definitely fussing over me and latching on just as tightly. Hell, Charlie even comes over and squeezes the life out of me. It's while all my friends are surrounding me that I realize someone is missing.

My eyes flicker up briefly to catch the glimpse of Jace slipping away behind the main cabin towards the dock. Everyone seems to notice my frozen state and quickly release me, some heading inside, leaving me with just Zoe, Leah, Charlie and Seth.

"He was pretty worried," Zoe says with a sad note. "Probably didn't help that I yelled at him."

Leah nods and nudges Zoe with her hip, "Zoe did kind of rip him a new one, but you should go talk to him."

Charlie and Seth nod, but I just find myself freezing and staring towards the direction I saw him go in. My thoughts unable to focus on anything but Jace. Suddenly arms are on my shoulder though, and I'm blinking up at Seth, "You trust me right?"

I nod rather numbly, "Of course I do."

He grins and stands a little more proudly, "Good! Then go get 'em tiger!"

With that I am shoved in the proper direction, and this time I don't freeze up. My feet keep moving forward until I'm walking with determination and purpose, nearly breaking into a run. I have to do this now, and I can't let my fears hold me back. This is my last chance to make something of these past couple months of disaster. I won't let all that suffering on both our parts go to waste. We need to talk and face this and figure it the hell out. It's now or never.

I walk carefully through the dark trees towards the dock and when I break through the tree line, I'm greeted with one of the most beautiful sights I ever did see. With the moonlight now shimmering across the lake, I can see the silhouette that belongs to someone I recognize all too well, the white light giving him an almost heavenly glow in contrast to the black water ahead of him.

Slowly, I step purposefully, but quietly until I am only a few feet behind him. It's then that I stop, finally unsure of myself and second guessing what my next move should be. Do I speak? Do I walk up to him? Do I just confess? Do I get mad at him for everything? Do I--

"I really thought... Kai,I--" He doesn't finish his sentence, and I don't push him.

I just wait.

Eventually he turns to face me, moonlight creating a halo of light around him, "When you left, I snapped. I don't think I've ever been so scared in all my life. Your first attempt, the cancer, when you tried to cut me out, when you collapsed. None of that measured up, because I knew this time if I lost you it would be permanent."

I don't speak, because I don't know how to respond. My lips turn down in a saddened frown as I hold his gaze though, and in those eyes that I've looked into only a million and one times, I see something new to me. A true, and unashamed fear. A desperation uncloaked and bared naked before me. He's being more honest with me right now than I believe he has ever been since I met him that day in the rain.