How To Begin Again

Chapter 4 - I Feel So Alone On A Friday Night

Chapter 4 - I Feel So Alone On A Friday Night

Adriana shared a common trait with her mother: she was lost. Although while her mother was lost in the world, Adriana was lost in her own mind.

She felt like she was trapped on a ship where the passengers doubled in number every hour, while she desperately tried to build a lifeboat before the ship sank in its own weight.

Adriana's mother was lost at war. Adriana was lost at sea.

Running fast into the deep, dark night, Adriana felt the strain of life. She wanted to be lost forever and was willing to let the night take her away. Tears fell from her face hitting the ground unevenly as she ran. She ran holding on to the mentality that remained.

Adriana ran across streets, through the park, over roads until a deathly noise punctured the atmosphere. Screeeeeeech!...

A shiny, black Volkswagen swerved around her and Adriana felt death stare at her through the rear view mirror. Surprisingly she was quiet without a care in the world.

Two boys hurried out of the vehicle and ran to ask if she was ok, they recognised Adriana and they were very familiar faces indeed.

The first boy who greeted Adriana with a face full of worry was Evan. He was 17 years old with mousy brown hair and piercing turquoise eyes which shone with mystery in the night.

The second boy was Jamie who Adriana had known for many years. An 18 year old boy with a muscular frame and black messy hair that always seemed to be styled to perfection. He had deep blue eyes alike to a stormy sea and Adriana was lost in them as she gazed.

"You could've got seriously hurt there Ade" Jamie said quietly, realising it would have been his fault. Adriana's nickname: Ade, from a childhood friendship they once shared for so many years.

"I feel so alone" Adriana whispered eerily before busting out into tears.

"Why don't you come take a drive with us?" Evan said with sympathy in his voice as he patted her back.

"I suppose it will get me out of the cold" she muttered half-heartedly.

Evan took the passenger seat and Adriana took the back seat, while Jamie turned the keys allowing the vehicle to roar into life. They drove at a high speed blurting out music, down roads, around roundabouts, swerving around streets. Adriana sat in the back listening intently to the music and the random conversations the boys were having.

This is true life Adriana thought, Life shouldn't be about constant heartache and head-throbbing stress. We need to live fast, die young, be wild and have fun.

Evan was the first to speak directly to Adriana, "If you and your friends want to come my house tomorrow I'm having a party, it should be a laugh"

"Sounds fun to me, I'll text Emily and the others now" she replied with confidence. Thoughts of her mother circled her mind as she put on a brave face as she had done many times.

She wanted to find a cure to her problems. A solution. Wishing all of her troubles away, she sat fighting back tears and took her phone out of her pocket.

Sifting through the contacts, Adriana found Emily's, Naomi's and Jemima's number and sent them all the same message. Wow, it's late she thought as she took a glimpse at her phone clock: 1:04

Adriana was no stranger to being alone in the world despite the many people that admired her.

Loneliness is a terrible plague that can infect us and slowly tear apart our lives. Adriana felt as if her life was already torn apart and she was living in the mess of her mother, picking up the fragments of the life she'd shattered.

Almost as if he could sense her emotion Evan offered her the Jack Daniels bottle from which he and Jamie had been drinking from. Due to the state she saw her mother in every day due to alcohol she had always denied drinks. However something had changed within Adriana tonight.

She accepted the bottle in acquiesce - a word which here means without the usual denial. Taking a drink of the light brownish liquid she felt the fiery fluid take over her throat. However the heat was nothing compared to her mind that her mother had carelessly set on fire with thoughts of despair.