How To Begin Again

Chapter 16 - I Would Wait A Million Years

Chapter 16 - I Would Wait A Million Years

Adriana sat alone on the garden step with a bottle of Jack Daniels beside her. The cold night seemed to wrap it's arms around her lungs as an icy chill took her breath away. Ashley was already fast asleep in her bed, she was at peace with the world although she often still felt the need for alcohol. She knew she couldn't. She knew she had to be there for her daughter. Throughout the day she would try to occupy herself by doing housework, seeing to the garden and making sure her daughter was safe. Adriana was lost in her own thoughts, day in day out she sat and let her emotions swirl around her head, over and over they swam.

The knock at the door slightly put Adriana on edge, her senses merged into one as she worried. 'Who could that be?' she thought to herself. 'Who would want to see me at this time?' Adriana was clueless, although she half hoped she would open the door to find Matt waiting for her, to tell her he was sorry, to put an end to her troubles. How wrong she was.

Adriana opened the door and was greeted with a hug, a strong feeling of warmth surged around her body as her best friend stood before her. She was relieved to see someone from the outside world. Emily's hazel eyes stared at her in deep concern, "Where have you been? How come you haven't contacted me? I've been waiting for you to reply for days." Her words all seemed blurred to Adriana and the questions took her mind back to Matt's soft grey eyes. Mystery shrouded his entire demeanour - a phrase which here symbolises the beauty of how Adriana was so in love with someone she didn't even know. She would wait a million years just to look into those eyes once again.

"What happened at Evan's party?" Emily asked as Adriana led her through the living room to the garden bench.

"I-I wasn't feeling too great so I went out for some fresh air" Adriana said. She didn't want to talk about it. It was starting to drive her crazy.

"Jemima went out looking for you." Emily's words were full of affection. She truly loved her best friend.

Adriana was holding back the tears, tears which she couldn't contain and before she knew it she was crying.

"Adriana what's bothering you? You know I'm always here."

"I feel so lost Emily, everyday I sit in the garden for hours and think about him, I try and try to forget but it's impossible to forget those e-eyes.'" Her voice cracked as she visualised his eyes once again.

"I've tried calling you nearly every day, I just wanted to make sure you were safe. All I needed was a reply. When did you go home? Who are you talking about?"

Adriana's tears fell from her face to the ground, she just wanted to be alone. She wasn't herself, sleep deprived and heartbroken laying there in the arms of her best friend. She needed someone more anything in that moment. But she didn't want anyone but him.

For the next few hours Adriana told Emily everything about that night. How Matt had helped her and walked her home, how he had her by her heart and how she couldn't stop thinking about him. Adriana didn't mention anything about Jamie, she wasn't ready to talk to anyone about what she saw that night. Emily told her everything about Evan. How he had walked her home and loved her like no one else ever had, how she felt so in love with this boy who she had known for so long. Adriana listened and envied Emily as she spoke about being loved for that was all that Adriana wanted at this moment, she wanted to someone to love her. She wanted to see him again, she wanted it more than anything.

When Adriana had fallen to sleep on her shoulder Emily helped her up to bed, she grabbed her things and went to close the back door when she saw the bottle of Jack Daniels. Emily knew it belonged to Adriana, but she understood. Everyone needs a form of escape and if that was how she handled with her problems then so be it. It broke Emily's heart as she poured the brown liquid down the kitchen sink for Adriana had always been a strong girl but she was not in the right frame of mind. Her heart had been shattered into a million tiny fragments which would never be pieced back together again.