I freaking hated my brother. I hated him so much. After what he said to me about the possibility of Atem being interested in me... that was literally all I could possibly think of.
I found myself staring at him. Trying to decipher every movement of his.
Trying to figure out what made my brother think of something so ridiculous.
And no matter how much I stared at him or how much I thought about it... I couldn't figure it out.
There was nothing.
No evidence that Atem was interested in me at all.
But why would my brother think that?
I shook my head vigorously and then felt a jab in my arm, "you okay?" Aurora asked.
I was out doing Christmas shopping with Aurora while Atem went to work with Grandma Seetha.
And I wasn't doing a good job paying attention as Aurora picked out a bunch of toys for her little cousins back at home.
"Yeah," I sighed, "fine."
Aurora raised her eyebrows, "you don't look fine."
"I'm fine. Just fine."
"You look seriously troubled."
I sighed again.
Aurora placed the Sailor Moon Barbie into the cart and looked at me carefully, "gurrrrrl," she started, "who do you think you're dealing with? I can tell you've got a problem from a mile away. What's wrong?"
I gave her a funny look, but then sighed for the third time, "my brother was over the other day, remember?"
"Yeah, you told me that went swell..."
"It was swell. But that night he told me that it was obvious Atem was into me."
Aurora narrowed her eyes.
"And it's just been freaking me out since!"
She snorted.
"I can't even think straight!" I said, "all I can think about is whether or not he likes me and–"
"Oh. My. God," Aurora's eyes widened as she cut me off, "do you like him?"
I laughed, "what?"
"You do!"
I laughed some more, "Are you crazy! Ohmigosh, no way!"
Aurora leaned forward against the cart and looked at me intently.
"He's a total jerk. I mean, he's an evil Pharaoh for crying out loud. How could I like him?"
She kept looking at me, "but now that I think back... he may be a jerk but whenever you talk about all the good things he's done for you... you always look all... weird."
"Don't be silly, Ro."
"Oh god, May. You are totally into him."
"Ro!"
"Maybe you heard your brother wrong," she straightened up, grinning, "maybe he was saying that it's so obvious that you're into him?"
I did not hear my brother wrong. I heard him loud and clear.
That's why I've been so messed up ever since.
"No. I heard him right. And stop it Ro! I don't like him that way. He's just a friend."
"Mhmm."
I nudged her hard and then started to walk off.
"Hey!" Ro called after me. I heard the cart start rolling as she followed me, "I'm just playing."
"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled as I turned into the stationary section of the store.
I decided I was going to ignore Aurora until she apologized for her totally unnecessary accusation.
And while I ignored her, I came across some interactive journals that seemed really cool. They were these notebooks that were filled with questions that you could answer.
One particular one was a journal that prompted the user to write about themselves. It asked questions as simple as 'what's your favorite colour' to questions as deep as 'was there a lesson you learned in your life that stuck with you?'
It seemed super interesting.
Plus, it looked really pretty.
So I grabbed one.
Actually, I grabbed two.
I put them in my basket and Aurora, who was standing behind me, raised an eyebrow.
"Why are you getting two?"
At this point... well, me being me, I already forgot I was ignoring her, "one for Atem, I feel like this would be good for his soul. Like..." I hesitated, seeing Ro's grin widen.
"Atem, huh? Always thinking about him."
I nudged her again and walked away, huffing in annoyance.
Ro laughed, "listen. May," she said, following me with her cart rolling loudly, "I know I'm just joking around but... in my complete and honest opinion, I don't think that guy is that bad."
I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything.
"After what you've said about all the help he's been to you, I think he's got the complete capability to be a gentleman, someone's just got to teach him to do it right."
"That doesn't mean I like him."
"No," she continued, "it doesn't, but this whole evil Pharaoh thing... it's ridiculous. If he was actually evil, there's no way he'd be carrying you home because you twisted your ankle. If he was evil, he would have laughed at you, twisted your other ankle and then left you to suffer in the cold."
Wow.
That would have been harsh.
"I don't believe this 'evil' thing and I don't think you should either," she said, "and what I'm trying to say is... don't let this idea that he's evil hold you back from–"
"I don't like him, Ro," I said as I turned around, knowing what she was going to say.
She held her hands up defensively, "okay, okay. Let's stop talking about this."
"Thank you."
And we did just that.
But unfortunately it didn't help much in making me feel better about this entire situation.
-----
Aurora dropped me in front of my apartment since she had Alec's car and as I made my way up the elevator, I contemplated whether I should give Atem the journal thing now, or later.
It was something that people were supposed to do over the span of a year, so maybe closer to the New Year was better.
But I already bought him a couple of Christmas gifts that were wrapped up and under the tree.
