I Drank Too Much

Ch. 9: I love you

~~~ DEX POV~~~ (2 pics for this chapter :3)

"Yeah." Aleks confirms to Dan. "I just did call Dexter by his name. Because I'm tired of hiding it. I'm tired of pretending I'm okay or trying to move on. Domi is great, but I love Dexter Manning. I've loved him since the day I realized that my close friend and co-worker was crazy perfect. I've loved him since he moved into my room, since he told me "no" and I showed him that he really meant "yes", since a part of me died on the inside when I betrayed him, and even when he left me to move to the other side of the ocean. I've loved him for that long. And I don't care what society says, what our fans say, or even what YOU say Eddie!"

Eddie tries to make an excuse, "Hey, Aleks, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought was right for you guys personally and what was right for the group and the fans. I didn't mean to..."

He and Eddie start arguing while I get lost in my thoughts. Does Eddie really like me? What he says seems to make sense. And how does he know that Eddie loves me? Did Eddie tell him that? Ugh this is so confusing!

Suddenly, he looks over at me, for longer than a glance. And we both... stop. Like time just froze.

"You never said if we could be friends." He says in a hushed voice.

I remember my departure from him, "I still don't know if we can. I don't know how much of a train wreck that would be."

"But..." He tries to reason with me. "I love you, Dexter. These past months have been hell for me. Not seeing your beautiful face, or hearing your voice with some British sarcasm, or just knowing that we're okay has absolutely torn me apart."

He walks closer to the screen and pushes Eddie out of the way, "I miss you and I need you to come home soon. Please."

I don't know if it was his voice, or the look in his eyes. That look that gets me every time. It's the "change your opinion for me" look. It worked in the past, when we kissed, to now. But without thinking, I reply.

"I miss you too, Aleks." Aleks perks up when I say his name. I missed how his name just waltzed out of my mouth, like I was always meant to say his name. "I miss you so much. And I see the pain in your eyes. The regret, the sorrow, the sleepless nights and the days where you sleep too much. You look broken, which I'm sure I'm a reflection of."

I continue the splurge of emotions, most Eddie doesn't even know, "I miss staying up and playing video games with you, recording SNI, pulling pranks on people, and just being together. I miss leaving the air mattress to sleep in your arms and waking up to you.

"And I guess the main reason why I miss you so much, why I've been hurting for so long, is because I still love you, Aleks. Despite the bad you've done, I feel like I'll always love you. And that's why we can't be just friends. I've tried to move on, I truly have. But when you love someone like how I love you, there's always a piece of your heart that's reserved for that person. A piece of your heart that hurts when you remember them, yearns for their touch and their voice, and makes you feel all bubbly inside when you finally do get to talk to them. I just kept wishing that piece would stop hurting. But the idea of you being with someone else makes it somehow hurt more. Like the sword got pushed deeper into my chest and twisted counter-clockwise. Talking to Eddie masked the pain and filled the void that you left.

I look at Eddie, "I'm sorry, Eddie. You'll always be one of my best mates. But I could never love you. I love Aleks, for better or for worse."

Aleks looks like he could tear up. Eddie protests, "But, Dexter! Come on! You couldn't say his name until just now! Who helped you when he broke you? Me. Who's always been there for you? Me. Who would never hurt or betray you like he did? Me."

Seamus buts in, "Dexter, Aleks loves you, I think Eddie puppy dog loves you, and I think I have a crush on you. So you get the pick of the litter. But choose wisely, please. I do not have time for drama or waiting. And I think those two would die if you didn't make up your mind by a week after you've moved back over here."

Now James buts in while Aleks and I just stare at each other, "No, Seamus." James' voice cracks, "You... you can't be with Dexter! Or Aleks, or Eddie or anyone besides me! Because I've messed up. I'm not attractive, not many people can handle my personality but teenage girls think it's funny and cute, I cuss a lot, and overall you're in the major leagues while I'm coaching a rec team of 1st graders.

"But Seamus, I want you back. What Aleks and Dexter feel for each other, that's how I feel towards you. Yes, I'm piggy backing off of their cute confessions of love because I suck at words.

"Seamus O'Doherty, I love you. I want you back and to be with you for as long as you can deal with me. Because I'll never stop loving you either." James pours his heart out in his own way. Dang... Eddie's office is definitely the office of love.

Seamus just looks at James. He seems... speechless. Here he is, speaking up, which is a rarity, and comes out to say he likes me, and James just said a big fat no. Wait... does Seamus return the feeling?

"James..." Seamus starts to cry, "I didn't know you still cared about me. I thought... I thought you truly moved on. So I just tried to stay angry at you and focused my feelings on Dex. I... I'm sorry!"

And he collapses into James' arms. They wrap their arms around each other while Seamus cries into James' shoulder. James finally picks Seamus up bridal style, probably to take him back to his office so they can have some privacy. Maybe make up sex? Because geez, if Aleks and I were in the same room... whew. That is NOT even R rated.

The rest of the guys slipped out, obviously this was getting too sappy or weird for them.

"My love." Aleks gets my attention, " I'll see you soon?"

"Soon."

~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE~~~

*cries massively* It's just so cute and beautiful and I give myself feels!

I'm liking these longer chapters!

I double updated bc I felt that ch. 8 didn't really have much meat to it.

Anyone catch that Pentatonix reference? Ah I love their new album cover and I'm so hype!

OVER 2K READS ON VOT YAYYYYYYYYY THANK YOU

AFTER THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN READ, THAT'LL BE 200 READS ON IDTM

CHAPTER 13 (THE ONE WHERE ALEKS AND JAMES DO IT) HAS 69 READS... TEEHEE

I'm so glad my OTP's are semi-together now :3

Low key trying to figure out how to break one up for the sake of the book...

I was also watching an old video of Aleks and Domi, it's so cute.

It's titled: Valentine's Day Opening! (Case Opening #22) The link is attached to this chapter.

It's a CS:GO unboxing video. At 10:20ish they get a good gun and Aleks freaks out. On the CT after that, the guys all joke about how they thought Domi was giving him a bj xD

Also, for book recommendations, look at the Gateway Readers Nominations. Every year, 15 books for Young Adults (Teens) get nominated for this award. I would say start with The Program series by Suzanne Young. Warning: It is about teens with depression and it will make you cry a lot. But it's made me value my life a lot more. If you want the full list, just message me.

Thanks for reading!

~Phoenix