Begin Again (A Greyson Chance Love Story)

Chapter 6

CJ's point of view

Emily left so Greyson and I could talk privately. I woke up to his long, worthless speech. 

Was I actually going to forgive him? Sure, I feel sorry for him but what he did hurt me so bad. We were best friends. People twisted me around their fingers and there was no one I can turn to! He was never there for me ever since he became popular. I'm not going to forgive him that easily. 

"I'm sorry." I heard him whisper. His voice cracked, he was about to break down. Some part of me wanted to hug him but no. When I cry myself to sleep was he there? He wasn't! "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for you. You think that hanging on to something for 5 years with slim chances of getting my best friend back is easy to forgive? I wanted to say good bye to you but do you think if I actually told you that moment, you'd care? With the whole school watching 'mr. popular' talk to the loser? I promised myself  that when you find me I'll be someone new. I'm not going to come back being the naive CJ, Greyson, I'm done with that. Now you're playing with fire and be careful because I will burn you hard." I spat angrily. I got carried away by so much emotion. His eyes filled with hurt and disbelief. I wanted to hug him, a part of me wanted to but I know better not to. He's not worthy of my forgiveness. Picture yourself in my state right now, someone you actually cared for turned you down and he's going to come back 5 years later when you waited for him for so long? I waited for my best friend to come back but he didn't. He actually didn't realize he lost me until I was gone. "You think I don't mean it when I say sorry?" Now his tone was angry. "How can I trust you, huh? I lost so much respect for you ever since you left me hanging. I gave you trust and you just stabbed me hard, I'm not going to make the same mistake again." I mumbled the last part, I don't think he heard that. "CJ, I'm trying to fix our friendship, why are you being so difficult?" He complained. His eyes pleaded with hope but as fast as those eyes were innocent, hatred filled them. "Fine, if you're going to keep throwing your dice this way then I'm willing to play your way. Good night, CJ. I'll see you in the morning." He said, a smirk visible. He left the room and I was alone.

Did I do the right thing? Shutting him out of my life seems easier. I guess he thought it was easy because he thought it was only our friendship he broke but he also broke something I gave him but never knew...

I loved him but that's in the past. The past where I look back in regret and hatred. I perfectly remember who my best friend was. He broke me into pieces, the worse part was I kept holding on to broken pieces and ended up hurting myself

and I knew I had to let go.

I let him go and left all those memories behind but when Greyson just sat there, hope in his eyes, trying to find us back into our old ways, it felt like those moments of the past are haunting me again. I remember the great days but when you think of the past, the bad memories come along with them and I remember how he left me like he never knew me. It hurts. That's how badly it hurts. The problem is, only I can understand myself, not even Emily. 

I'm sorry, Greyson, I'm sorry that our friendship is hard to fix but you have to prove better if you want to mend our friendship.

because you also have to fix a broken heart.

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Holy crabcakes that was intense. So does this make up for my crappy Chapter 4? that was short because I wrote it on my phone and it said I had 1500 characters so I thought it was a lot but anyways this chapter is probably my favorite that I've written. I mean, I write other fanfics but on behalf of that, on top of it all, this one is intense. Hahaha well, enough of my thoughts, questions? opinions? reactions? fan, vote, comment and share, my friend! Patrixia will update next. 

Allie out xx

- osnapitzallie