Keep It Together (OHSHC/Hikaru Love Story)

Chapter 35

My fingers pinched the topaz on the chain as I stared at it in the mirror. I decided to take it with me, but I never removed it from my neck the day before. I had slept with it and woken up with it, and when it finally came time, I was having trouble convincing myself to take it off. Why did I have to torture myself with a reminder of Hikaru? I wasn't sure. Maybe it was supposed to be like a promise that one day I would return to him. I couldn't expect him to wait for me, though. In fact, I was happier pretending that he would immediately forget about me. That meant I wouldn't have made a huge impact on his life, which, in turn, showed he wouldn't be hurt.

I wondered if any of my friends knew what was happening. Tamaki didn't since I made sure to avoid him the entire day, and Grandmother wouldn't have informed him of it. Maybe Kyoya did, though. He always seemed to know what was going on. Did he have time to see? He had his own problems, though. It was probably better. I sighed and placed the gem tightly in my fist. Maybe, in the long run, it was all for the better.

I kept myself from screaming in surprise when my bedroom door opened. I rushed to turn away from my reflection and placed my hands by my sides. Eric stood in the doorway and asked, "Are you ready to go?" All I did was nod. I hadn't spoken much since he forced me out of Ouran. I never knew I could miss a school so much, but I wished I was at the fair right then. Even if I did have to leave later, at least I would have gotten to see all my friends one more time.

After all of our luggage was put in the trunk, we climbed into the black town car, sitting so we were facing each other. I looked out at the sunset as the car rolled away from my house, and I knew it was going to be the last I saw it. Eric began telling me the details of the wedding. It was going to be a grand occasion filled with the highest aristocracy in France, and no expense was to be spared. He showed me a picture of the dress that was decided on without me, and I told him it looked beautiful. I wasn't lying; it did. It was a white ball gown that would billow around me with a delicately beaded bodice, but it didn't feel right looking at it. I couldn't imagine myself in it, a happy, glowing bride.

"I thought our main flower should be the yellow rose," Eric continued on.

I interrupted, "No. No yellow roses."

He asked, "Why? You've always loved them, and it's even your rose color at the Host Club."

I frowned, "Which is exactly why I don't want them there. I don't want to think about any of them if I don't have to." I surely would, anyway, but I didn't need any more reminders to keep my mind busy.

He agreed, "Alright, no yellow roses. We'll choose something else tomorrow." Then, he kept talking, never missing a beat. He seemed to never run out of breath, but it was a lot of information to cover.

I thought about what I had just said and removed my phone from my pocket. I turned it on for the first time since I arrived home the day before, and I was greeted by a pop up box displaying I had over twenty messages and even more texts. For a moment, I was tempted to listen to all my voicemails, but then I got control over reason and exited out of the window. I need to delete all of them from my contacts, I decided. I maneuvered into my contacts where all the hosts' numbers were stored.

I bit my lip as I got to where I was asked if I really wanted to delete Hikaru's number. It was hard to when his icon was staring at me. I forgot I made Kaoru and him on the carousel the day we all went to the expo the contact picture. It had been a great day. Remembering it made me miss all my friends even more.