Dream Boy [Zarry]

17. The Weight

•[Not Edited]•

Zayn's POV

I'm tired of moping around, tired of my sleepless nights. How could I been so stupid? I let two people ruin what I had started with Harry and what we had was perfect. Now he probably hates me and he probably doesn't want to see my face anymore. How do I know I'm alive if all I feel is hollow and alone? I for sure thought we'd be something more but like always, every story has its downs. Mine just turned out to be death.

Harry was the best thing, person, I had. Best thing that had ever happened to me. People are always just so judgmental and jealous, they hate seeing people too happy for supposedly 'no reason'.  One day I'm just gonna experience this jealousy since I don't have the one person I want, the one I need. I know for a fact this s.hit happened for a reason, not only a bad one but one that had something behind it.

"Zayn, wanna go to a party?" Niall asked, trying to get me to cheer up. I just shook my head and sighed.

"I just want to see him." I mumbled not caring if he heard me or not.

"Zee, come on-"

"He used to call me that.."

"Zayn. You need-"

"Harry, I know, thanks for pointing it out..."

"Zayn Javaad Malik. You will shut up and let me talk," he rubbed his temples and sighed. "I think I know what will cheer you up."

I slowly looked up at him expecting something like 'Let's see Harry' or 'let's at least stalk Harry' or even 'let's prank call Harry' because at least I would be able to see him or hear his angelic deep voice.

"Let's go see street art," he smiled proudly. "I know how much you love that."

I sighed and shook my head. At a moment like this nothing would compare to seeing Harry, I was so stupid for doing that. I'm sure Harry was hurting too and I was probably hurting more than he was.

"Zayn just because this happened doesn't mean you can't fix it." Niall raised an eyebrow. He was right, I could fix it, it would only take what? A few weeks? Months? I broke his heart for goodness sake.

"Niall I don't think you realize what I did. He will never in a million years forgive me." I laid down flat on my stomach and nuzzled my face on my pillow.

"I can talk to Liam and see how he's doing?"

And that would be great in all honesty but I don't want to know if he's happy or not because either one of those will break me apart more. I shook my head once again, I just wanted to be alone but Niall being Niall thought he knew better than leaving me here by myself, as if I would do something stupid. There's nothing more stupid than what I did, telling Harry that this wasn't right? That it wasn't worth the time? Who does that? Oh yeah, me. I'm the heartbreaker, the deal breaker, and the people breaker. Deal breaker because I've made deals and right before I lose I break it, people breaker because I've caused people to break up, some were because of cheaters but some were because that other person had feelings for me and I lead them on without even realizing it.

It's not my fault in that case but at the end of the day I do blame myself. The only thing that matters at the moment and will matter forever if I don't fix it is losing Harry.

"Zayn, what do you want me to do? Leave you?" He scoffed. I nodded.

"Haha, no. In your dreams."

"Then let me sleep." I mumbled, closing my eyes.

"Really?" I felt the bed dip and then a hand on my back. "Let's try and fix this okay? What do you want me to do? Other than leaving because I'm not leaving."

I thought for a moment, what could he do? After all he had Harry's best friend's heart. You could see it, even feel it. The way he talked about Liam, it was just the same as me with Harry. Oh Harry...

"Tell me."

I closed my eyes, thinking. He could get Liam to talk to Harry, maybe tell him that I wasn't doing well so he would know it wasn't because I wanted to because I didn't. Those two people just really ruined everything for me.

"Just.. Let me think, give me time to think. I really want to be alone right now Niall, thank you for everything you're doing and for being here for me but I really want to sleep this off. Maybe tomorrow we'll hang out instead of having me here moping around all day and all night." I said softly and as nicely as I could.

"Alright Zayn, I'll let you be for right now but just remember what you said. Tomorrow I'm taking you out to the cafe then we're going to the mall and then we're going to see that street art."

"Mhm, I'll keep my word, just let me sleep this off." I tried relaxing.

"Okay, call me or text me if you need anything, even if it's something irrelevant and stupid."

"Thank for that, now I know I ask for irrelevant and stupid stuff." I whined.

"Hey, hey, do not change the subject. We're talking about your needs not what you ask for. Alright, now, I'm leaving but I'll be back tomorrow, tell me when you wake up so I know when we should go do all this but make sure it's not like at 1 p.m. because then I'll beat you up."

Wow, how sweet of Niall. I gave him a light nod and hugged the sheets. "Later Nialler, text you when I wake up."

And with that I felt him get up and heard him close the door and leave. I didn't really feel any better but hopefully this power nap will help a little. Maybe even Harry will text me or something, this is just my imagination.

I really feel the weight of my heart now, I really feel the sadness and hollowness of not having someone you like here. It sucks, I suck, if I listened to my heart and not the two people who ruined my life from this point on then everything would've been fine and I would've been cuddling with Harry.

I hope he's doing better than me, he deserves so much better but I don't want to see him happier with somebody else, as selfish as it sounds but it is the truth. He's mine and he will always be mine.

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A/n: And here is the chapter you guys have been waiting for! I had a bit of time in my hands and decided that after wattpad DELETED my chapter, I would make it up to you guys and myself because it honestly made me faint a bit. Anyways, thank you all for staying and yeah! Thanks for the support loves!

I'm moving in two weeks but I'll keep you guys updated!

QOTC: What do you think Zayn and Harry should do?

~Angie💜

P.S. WHY DOES IT KEEP SAYING THERE'S AN ERROR AND I CANT POST?! (So I had to delete part of my authors note but whatever).