Dream Boy [Zarry]

19. I Won't Give Up

•[Not Edited]•

Harry's POV

1 month later

I got the plan. This is how I'm going to talk to Zayn, how I'm finally going to face him without any anxiety and nervousness.

I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. I waited about two minutes before someone finally opened the door.

"Harry?"

I slightly frowned.

"I know why you're here but unfortunately Zayn isn't here right now.. He's off traveling again, he said he needed some time alone and well.. As you can see, he isn't back yet." Doniya gave me a slight pitied smile. I looked away and sighed softly, maybe this was a bad idea after all.

"Do you know when he'll be back?.."

"He hasn't texted or called anyone, he'll probably be back next well but for all we know he might come back next month." Hearing that kept pulling at my hearts broken pieces. I tried getting better, my mom even tried helping me by staying as long as she could and taking me places but it just wasn't the same.

"Should I just give up Doniya? I mean, if he wanted to talk or even visit me he would've.. But he didn't." I was starting to feel the anger I should've felt ever since the call.

"No, no, absolutely not-"

"No? Everyone keeps saying no yet everything that's happening says otherwise! Zayn isn't here, he doesn't come to talk to me or see me, when I try he's never around or I chicken out. The world has turned against us and maybe I should stop trying and..." I cut off, was I really going to do it? Say it? I would hurt a lot more but it seemed to be the only choice. "Let him go.." I sighed. I shook my head and looked back at Doniya.

"Harry..."

"Don't. Just.. Forget it. Tell him, when he gets back, tell him that I came and that I want him to know that I had to let him go, I can't do this anymore. I tried, did he? I never saw him trying and honestly I'm tired, I'm really tired of love. I will never find it and I'm done hurting, I don't want to hurt anymore. I need sleep, I need to eat and hanging on to him won't let me because he's not even here. I'm not happy and I need to be so... This is it. Tell him that.. I cared." I finished using his last sentence from the call and left. I felt bad, terrible, empty even, but it had to be done. It was either live a lie or live with the reality that this was it and it that's all I was gonna get.

Goodbye Zayn.

***

"You let me go?"

I bit my lip nervously not knowing how to answer him. I indeed left him but not this Zayn, at least I had him.

"Not you, him. I would never let you go." I hugged him tightly.

"Letting him go is like letting me go Harry," he hugged back. "You can't give up, not like that anyway. Be brave and say it to my face. Say you don't want me, that you don't want to see me again." He pulled away and made me make eye contact with him. "Say it to his face. My face."

"I-I can't... Not really anyways.." I moved away and turned my back to him. I knew he was right, if I really had to give up on him I'd have to say it to his face but I couldn't.