Waves {h.s.}

five - heartbeat

"HARRY PLEASE OPEN the door."

My forehead rested against the wooden door as I pleaded Harry to let me inside. I had been standing outside of his room for the past 10 minutes. I was starting to get cold, my body being only covered by a towel wrapped around. The top of my hair had started to dry slightly but the tip was still holding water, letting cold drops fall along my back.

As I knocked for the twentieth time, I was once again greeted by silence and with each passing seconds, I could feel Harry getting further and further away.

When I imagined what could be the worst case scenarios, I thought that his yelling, getting angry and leaving me would be the worst thing that could happen. I was wrong. The worst thing that could happen was this, knowing that Harry stood five feet away from me physically, but he was miles away mentally.

But then again, I thought the same thing 15 minutes ago.

. fifteen minutes before .

"You what?"

There was a heavy silence between us. It felt unreal to be standing here, naked and exposed. The water kept running, the air kept getting ticker because of the steam, and it was getting harder to breathe with every second passing.

As I expected, his eyes were filled with anger and betrayal, but I knew that deep inside he was feeling small and hurt, but he couldn't show it. He wouldn't show it. He was angry with me and for the first time, it was hard to handle. This was the worst.

I reached for him because I could slowly feel him pulling back, but the second my skin touch his, he pulled away as if I had just burned him. And all of a sudden, my hand started to burn as well, as if I was holding a ball of fire that I couldn't drop. I looked down at my hands, expecting to see something wrong with them. There had to be something wrong with them because Harry was pulling away and my hand was burning. But all I saw was my hands, simple, normal hands.

So I looked at Harry again and reached for him again. I was fine, I wasn't hurting him with my hands, I could touch him. Still, his reaction was immediate. He took a step back, so I took a step forward. There wasn't much space for him to hide away from me. I fought him and reached again, he avoided me as much as he could but eventually I got my hands on him.

"Harry, please," I whispered as I ran careful hands across his chest.

He looked down at where my skin touched his and breathed in deeply. I kept my eyes on him, waiting for a reaction, a reaction, a noise, a movement, anything that would indicate that he was coming back to me. His chest moved with each anxious breath but he didn't push me away this time.

"How," he finally let out.

His eyes met mine, confusion written all over his feature. Anger wasn't there anymore and I breathed a little better. I ran my hands up to his shoulder and took another step towards him until my chest touched his and I pressed my forehead against the base of his throat.

"When I was at my parents, Gemma showed up. We talked and she let it out," I explained, keeping my face hidden against his throat. "I think she assumed I already knew, that you had already told me. She said it so casually, it didn't seem real."

This time I looked up, trying to see any kind of reaction. I frowned as I saw him emotionless. He was a real rollercoaster, moving from one emotion to another, or in this case, no emotion. One of my hands reached for the base of his neck and ran into his hair, something I knew he loved. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling but quickly recovered his emotionless state.