Waves {h.s.}

twenty-two - fundamentally *

(*) sort of haha

WE DIDN'T REALLY talk about his little breakdown in the hospital room. I think Harry was simply too proud to admit to his small moment of weakness. So I acted as if nothing happened and I could tell that Harry was thankful. He showed it with small gestures, grabbing my hand and squeezing it, kissing my temple on every occasion he had while we rode on the elevator on our way to his car and keeping me as close as possible to him. When we finally reached his car in the parking lot, I immediately noticed how badly he had parked his car. Clearly he was in a hurry to get to me. I couldn't help but to smile and look at Harry. He looked back at me and rolled his eyes, but a hint of an apologetic smile played on his lips.

We got into his car and without saying a word, we mutually agreed that we would take things easy that night and headed straight to Harry's. The car ride wasn't too long but I could feel Harry's tension radiating off of him but it faded as we reached his place.

"I think I'll take a quick shower, wash off the scent of the hospital," I said once we took off our coats and settled.

Harry nodded. "I'll join you," he said heading to the bathroom, when he saw that I wasn't following, he turned around and lifted one of his eyebrows. "You coming?"

I sighed, letting my arms fall to my side. "I'm fine, Harry." I needed him to believe it. He couldn't treat me as if I was fragile, I couldn't stand that.

He kept his hand up and took a step towards me. "I know," he whispered.

I looked at him, examined his face, trying to find what was bothering him. He just seemed so eager for me to grab his hand, to stay close to him. After a beat, I understood exactly why he acted that way, why he followed me like a shadow, why he kept a physical contact with me at all times. I was fine, but he wasn't. It made me realize that maybe Harry needed me a little more than I thought he did.

So I took his hand and followed him to the bathroom. He was silent, and for a second he reminded me of the old Harry, the Harry I knew before we officially started to date. He was distant but I knew that it was his way of dealing with his feelings. He had exposed himself, exposed his feelings and that made him emotionally raw. He needed time and some peace to heal himself and I would give him that.

It was weird, there was an understanding that wasn't there before and it was settling. I didn't worry about him shutting me out and I didn't worry that I was being used for s.ex, because I knew that Harry loved me, I understood that this was his way of coping. All he wanted was a little time and silent support.

I knew he was just a little shaken up, that he was simply dealing with a scare, but I supported him all the same.

Once we arrived in the bathroom, Harry turned on the shower and I started to hurriedly take off my clothes and then Harry did the same. The both of us filled with the need to get under the water and pretend for a few minutes that there wasn't anything behind the shield that was the shower curtain. And yet, as we entered the shower, we didn't rush into anything. I took the time to rinse my hair and soaked in the relief the warm water brought. Harry did the same, letting his hair stick to his face. I smiled, so fond of this sight. It made him look so young, so innocent.

"Better?" I asked as I pushed his hair away from his face.

He nodded. "Slowly getting there. You?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "The water helps with the headache."

"Good," he said before kissing my forehead.

His arms came around me, pulling me closer to him and right under the water. Then he grabbed the shampoo and poured some in his hands before massaging my scalp and washing my hair. I sighed in pleasure, loving the way he took care of me. He was so carefully and so loving in the way he touched me, it overwhelmed me. And it seemed like he was overwhelmed too. He kept opening his mouth, meaning to say something but couldn't get it out. So when his words failed him, his actions spoke louder than words did.