Waves {h.s.}

twenty-six - pressure

MY MIND WAS filled with one thing and one thing only: Gemma's wedding. Although it had only been two days since I had seen her at the restaurant, ever since she left, it was the only thing that I could think about. I was putting so much pressure on myself, wanted to find a way to convince Harry so badly that it completely overshadowed everything else. I would go to bed and thought of how I was going to bring it up to Harry or I would wake up the next morning and imagine just how bad the conversation could turn. No matter what I did, a part of my brain couldn't help but focus on that.

It distracted me and made me forgetful, to a point where even Harry noticed that I wasn't fully there. He made a comment about it the morning right after Gemma's visit and I had dismissed it. I wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

As much as I wanted Harry to go to the wedding, I had to admit that I wasn't ready to fight and risk my relationship with him. I knew how he reacted in that kind of situation, him yelling and then closing himself up, and that was one of the reasons I hesitated so much.

It hadn't even been two full days, that the pressure on my shoulder was getting too much and when Sunday came I knew that I couldn't do this any longer.

When I woke up that morning, Harry was gone. I had a vague memory of him kissing my forehead and wishing me a good day, but I didn't fully wake up until my alarm went off. My back was sore and I didn't feel rested at all, so I took a second to breathe deeply and calm myself.

I had to bring up the subject today, I couldn't keep going this way so I promised myself that I was going to do that tonight. Until then, I had to stop giving myself a headache and try to get through the day without obsessing over the situation.

Apparently, I didn't manage to do so very well, because the second I stepped in the employees' room for my shift at the restaurant and Niall's eyes landed on me, he noticed that something was bugging me.

"You look like you need a drink," he teased as he bumped me with his shoulder softly.

I looked up and smile. "I do actually."

"Great, let's go after work?" he suggested.

I reminded myself that I had vowed earlier that I would talk about the wedding with Harry and was actually going to tell Niall that I couldn't, but then the simple idea of talking about the situation with someone eased a bit of the tension in my shoulders.

"That would be perfect actually," I finally answered. "Let me just tell Harry," I added before grabbing my phone.

Niall smiled from ear to ear as he put on his uniform, then headed out to start working. I sent a quick text to Harry, telling him about my plans for the night, adding a few kisses at the end, and went to work.

***

"I get where you're coming from, but to be honest, you shouldn't think that way," Niall said, almost having to scream so that I could hear him over the music that was just a little too loud for a bar. I had just told him how I had hesitated to talk about it with Harry, in fear of hurting our relationship.

I leaned forward and rested my head between my hands. The bar was busy, especially for a Sunday evening. I stayed silent for a second, listening to all of the noise surrounding us. I knew that my friend was right and to be completely honest, I wasn't expecting him to tell me otherwise.

"I don't know what to do," I mumbled loud enough for him to hear me.

He laughed, as he did so often. "You already told me that, don't dwell on it, let's find a solution."