Who Can I Trust?

Chapter 9: Memories Never Told

                         ♔Cayden♔
                   Written: 9/29/15

  My green eyes snap open after the memory leaves me. I look up to see Steve standing above me. My green eyes lock on his baby blues, while he leans over to me. I feel confused and disoriented when I feel a shudder flow down my spine. 'Oh no! I'm screwed!' I think. The feeling of a memory attack creeps up my spine as I cough.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whisper slowly drifting into another memory. The next words he speaks are distorted due to my slipping into memory world.

*Flash*

  "Watch it Lawton!" My 20 year old self calls to my one eyed partner as a gun is pointed at his head. He merely dodges the bullet with ease, using his wrist rifles (A/N-Or whatever they're called) to take him down. He quickly whirls around and shoots the two policemen I've been fighting. The slump to the ground in a pool of blood as I easily step over them.

  "So, that was a surprise, love." Lawton says to me wiping some blood off his hands.

  I merely scoff. "You think after trying to assassinate Batman, the police wouldn't come after us?"

He grins and replies, "True, darling. You're always one to think ahead." I laugh and smile at him. He was so sweet and cocky. Maybe, only maybe, we may be more than friends and partners. He merely chuckles and walks around the room gathering his equipment. We were in a "safe house" in Gotham City when we were ambushed by the Gotham City Police for trying so assassinate Batman also know as Bruce Wayne. We were taken by surprise, or at least Lawton was.

"Floyd, when are you ever going to learn how to think for yourself?" I joke picking up my knives and hand guns. He laughs and walks over to me gentle pushing me against the wall. I involuntary smile knowing what will probably happen.

  "That's what I have you for." He whispers leaning towards me. I gulp and suddenly feel self conscious. Am I a mess? How do I look? I'm cut off as his lips slowly connect with mine. A warm, gentle and caring kiss filled with sweetness. I'm taken by surprise but kiss back never less. A lip locking kiss of love and warmth, with no lust.........for now.

*Flash*

   I'm running down the streets, tears streaming down my 7 year old face. I'm holding a bloody knife, while I bawl my eyes out, running from and unseen person. I had just murdered someone. Fear and guilt spurred me ahead, away from the scene. I run down a dark alley and slam into an older girl, knocking myself down. I quickly stand up and say tearfully, "I-I'm s-s-sorry."

  She looks pityingly at me and replies, "It's ok, but are you ok?" Something in her made me feel safe. Like I could trust her to not turn me in or harm me.  I tossed the bloody knife around, deciding if I should tell her. This time, I go with my gut feeling. I let out a deep breath and spilled the whole shit load. At the end, she merely sighed wearily and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "It's ok," she whispers to me as I begin to bawl again. "It's ok. We're going through the same thing. It's alright. We can comfort each other." My crying starts to decrease as I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, dropping the bloody knife.

  "Y-you mean it?" I whisper in shock.

  "I sure do." I smile and hug her. We embrace as she says, "My name is Sophie."

*Flash*

I was staring blissfully into the red sunset while my boyfriend wrapped an arm around my waist. I leaned my head on his shoulder and smiled at him. He glanced down and kissed my forehead, making me giggle. He was perfect.........if only he wasn't my mission.

'Damn you Logan!! Why do you have to be so dreamy?!' I scold myself while I relax against his shoulder. He rubs my back and I smile. 'No, I won't fall for him! I can't! He's my mission, not my lover........but his eyes, his face, his everything! No, I won't say I'm in love. '(A/N-That is probably one of my favorite Disney songs.) He turns to face me and he holds both of my hands. I blush and stare at our hands entangled together. He drops one of hands and uses his finger to title my chin upwards.

  "Happy 4 month anniversary." He whispers as he leans in and kisses me. It was a loving kiss, not lustful, but gentle. I immediately melt inside as I slowly move my arms around his neck. That's when I know I should stop denying my feelings. I can't help but fall for him.

*Flash*

I shed silent tears in the dark alleyway, ready to plunge a knife into my gut.

  'I'm worthless. What I did was wrong. I can't fix it. Nothing will work. I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve to live.' My mind says to me while I start to sob. I can't keep the tears back. This was the first time since Logan that I've cried. 'Logan. Dear, sweet scarred Logan. Why did I have to do that?!' I sob harder while I hold the knife ready to die. I let out a deep breath and start to plunge the knife into my abdomen. Whiz! An a green arrow catches the hilt of the knife and rips it away from my hand. I gasp and look around.

  'Where did that come from?' I tearfully walk over to the knife, ready to continue, when a person drops into the alley from the sky. He has green attire, a green hood covering his face and a green bow and arrow. I scramble backwards to distance me from the mysterious man. I was emotionally and physically scarred, but I still was cautious that SHIELD would catch up to me. I feared it was Clint Barton, but he knew what I had done. He wouldn't save me from committing suicide, he would let me continue. Who is he?

He slowly approaches me saying, "Please don't continue. That's never a good way to end anything." His voice is soft and comforting, like Logan's. I bite my lip as a fresh wave of tear spill over. The mystery man walks up to my and places an arm around my shoulders comfortingly.

I turn and sob into his shirt shakily whispering, "You don't know what I've done."

  "You're right," He replies kindly, rubbing my back. "But you can tell me." I violently shake my head and start to back away, but he continues, "I won't judge you for what you do or have done."

  "If you knew, you would judge me." I snap almost dissolving in tears. Even in the few minutes I've seen him, he reminds me so much of Logan.

  "No, I wouldn't." He whispers cautiously. "I've been through worse."

  "No, you've had the perfect life. Being a superhero, saving people from villains." I state blankly. "I've had the exact opposite. I kill people......" I clap a hand over my mouth and back away, fearful he would kill me on the spot. He merely drops his hood and I gasp. It's Oliver Queen! I feel faint from emotional stress and suddenly I pass out.

*Flash*

  Darkness. The memory attack has finally ended. All I observe is darkness enveloping me in my fears. These were the memories I never told. I slip into a dreamless sleep while I shake from the inside out.
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-xXMarvel_GirlXx