Who Can I Trust?

Chapter 11: I Couldn't Lift The Weight

                      ♔Cayden♔
Written: 10/17/15

I'm so sorry the last chapter was so shitty. I just couldn't think of a great revelation. Yeah, I had writers block even though I have planned my whole book. Sometimes it will be like that, and I'm so sorry when it happens. I'm the worst writer ever!! 😵🔫 Ok. Back to the story.
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Darkness enveloped my vision, not letting me see anything. The dark expanse was one dark hole of nothingness. Coldness washed over my body like the feeling of ice water dumped purposely over my head. The coolness starting at the top of my head, trickling down my spine tickling my nerves making me shiver. Loneliness filled my emotions as I remember all the times I was rejected multiple times by others. I am uncared for by all people. These were the intense feelings and heartbreaking emotions after a memory attack. I despised it and wanted to wake up. I was alive in soul, but not in body. I tried with no avail to open my eyes. I mentally grumbled and tried again with no result. I sighed and then heard the sound of someone shifting in a chair. I perked my ears to hear what was going on.

  "Cayden, I know you aren't the monster you are depicted to be. You are so beautiful. I want to know you better." The person voices. "I don't know what happened when you were a child, but I know it is horrible. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that life. No person should be abused. Your crimes are a reaction to your childhood. You are not who you say you are. I promise I'll listen to what you have to say. I won't ignore you."

I feel like tearing up from that person's impactful speech. It was Clint, my rescuer, Arrow Ass, Legolas, Katniss no less. I can't believe he is saying that. He doesn't even know me. He only knows me from my files of my heinous crimes. My crimes I'm deathly ashamed of. How could he call me beautiful and actually want to listen to me? No one has taken the time to know me or hear me out. Only the few people I trust have listened to me. Anyway, I had broken them. Shattered them into pieces scattered around the world. I don't want to ever do that to anyone else.

The people I told were the ones I could confide in my darkest secrets. They were the only ones who called me beautiful and meant it. Others called me beautiful but didn't mean it. Slut, bitch, whore and others. Never beautiful. How could he call me beautiful?

I tried again to open my eyes and suddenly they popped open. I was staring at the gray, textured ceiling of the SHEILD hospital room. I gasped for air shooting upwards. C̶l̶i̶n̶t̶ Legolas jumped out of his chair and raced over to me. My sorrowful green eyes connected with his startling gray eyes. (A/N-I'm not sure his eye color. I'm just going by the picture above. Yeah, I'm not looking it up cause I'm lazy like that!) We stared at each other for a moment different thoughts racing through our heads. He breaks the spell by looking away.

  "Cayden, are you ok? Do you need a Doctor? I should call Bruce. Bru-" he mumbles worriedly stumbling over his own feet.

  "No, Arrowman, I don't need Green Machine. I'm fine." I cut him off with a wave of my hand. He stops and sits next to my bed. I avoid his stares while I play with the hem of my purple shirt, trying to avoid a conflicting conversation.

"So, who were you talking about?" He questions resting his chin on his fingers which are steepled together.

  "I.......umm.......what do you, um, mean?" I force out, totally showing my anxiety. He can't find out what I had remembered. Not here, especially when Patchy is probably listening in. I glance around the room searching for minuscule video cameras.

  "Well, you said something about a Logan."

I curse, bite my lip and look at the SHIELD symbol on the wall. This is not the time for that to come out. A million thought are rushing through my mind, great and horrible. I contemplate whether to tell him or not, deathly afraid to trust him.