Chapter Three.

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I cried for longer than I cared to admit. Tara had only seen me like this once before. When I found out that I was pregnant, I felt like I would be alone and abandoned as a single mother. I didn't know how my parents would react, they were archaic in their beliefs about marriage and family, I was afraid that they'd turn their backs on me. I had seen things on television and heard stories about the best parents in the world leaving their child to fend for themselves and I selfishly didn't want to be like that. I was a teenage mother, even if it was my last year as a teenager, that's what I became and I was lucky my parents didn't disown me. In the beginning they wanted to avoid a scandal and couldn't stomach the negative press we'd received. So they kept me hidden under their roof. I didn't even go to hospital, my father hired the best doctors and nurses to do a home birth. I knew they kept me around because they didn't want the Lawson name tarnished after they had just solidified their standing in the world of money.

Once Athena was born though, their icy exterior fell away and they fell in love with their first grandchild. When their eyes landed on the little human in my arms they were done for, she had so much charm after one day of being born. The staff said she was an amazing and inquisitive newborn. I still talk to one of the nurses who was with me in the delivery room. Being the fool I was I wanted to go natural birth and when I was almost fully dilated I screamed for the drugs but I got no relief. That day I have never cursed so much in my life. I screamed at the men in the room to 'get away with their filthy baby makers.' I made one stay behind while I squeezed the life out of his poor hand, I imagined squeezing the neck of anyone who said child birth hurt less than being kicked in the balls. I think I almost broke the poor guys hand, but I still remember him asking me out for dinner. I politely declined looking at the child in my arms saying when the last time I went 'out' with a guy I ended up pregnant. I think he got the idea.

Throughout all of those trials, I had never spoken to my parents about who Athena's father was. They hadn't pried and for that I was thankful. They never made me feel the loss for not marrying before having a child. I had never felt ashamed for my daughters heritage until her own father had spat that seven letter word out. Like the seven deadly sins I was painted with every single one by Axel and I felt dirty. After sleeping with him again under his acidic seduction I felt like I had betrayed my very own daughter. I felt less human, less mother, I felt like a cheap tampon thrown away for not even being absorbent.

I think that's what hurt the most, the feeling of letting down my daughter. I couldn't give her a real father. The man who donated his seed did not want her, he had made it painstakingly obvious. Athena's greatest desire was to have a completed family and I could not offer her that, not with her the man she shared her genetics with. I couldn't put my heart on my sleeve and ask a man to whisk me away, no, love for me wasn't easy to come by. Men didn't care to see beyond my looks or beyond the money. It seemed that those two aspects of my life were fogged glass to keep everyone away. I danced in that safety and now it was a heavy burden because of Athena wanting something I wasn't sure I could offer.

But for Athena I would do anything.

I collected my thoughts and continued my packing. Eyes dried I told the girls I would tell them everything after dinner when Athena was asleep. Alice called Hamilton and we were having a girls night, the story they had waited for with bated breath would finally be revealed and once I had spilled the story they would help me move. I ordered for chocolates of all kinds, potato chips and ice cream. I wouldn't drink because I know what happened last time and I was not ready to make past mistakes.

Once Athena was asleep and I had spilled my story about everything that had happened. They sat stunned in silence. I told them of the things and evidence I had about Olivia and then I told them who Athena's father was. I told them how I searched for him, how he showed up vowing revenge for his sister and what they had done to me earlier in the day. I told them every single word spoken and every laugh and cold glance. They were stunned.

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