All I Ever Wanted

• 34 •

To lie or not to lie?

Yun agad ang tanong na pumasok sa isipan ko. Magsisinungaling ba ako kay Kale o sasabihin ko ang totoo?

Nanatili akong tinitigan ni Kale, ang kamay niya ay unti-unting lumuluwang sa pagkakahawak sa akin. Inalis ko naman ang kamay ko sa hawak niya at huminga ng malalim.

"It's Carmen," I muttered finally.

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay, nagtataka akong tiningnan. "What about Carmen?"

I glanced down then up to his eyes again. "She's the one who did it to me."

Mas lalo pang nagkunot ang noo ni Kale.

"What?" he asked, confused and shocked.

"Nung tinawag niya ako para kausapin, dinala niya ako sa kitchen ng bar, her friends were there, too... And she asked me about... something," I trailed off then I looked away.

Ayokong tumingin kay Kale. Baka kasi makita ko lang sa mukha niya na di siya naniniwala sa akin.

"And what's that something?" he asked abruptly.

Napalunok ako. Should I tell him about that? Ugh. Do I even have a choice? Parang wala naman ata.

"Um," I started but wasn't able to continue.

"What?" Kale asked and there was urgency on his tone.

That was when I glanced at him again and said, "She asked me if I like you."

Para namang natigilan si Kale, maaaring nagulat sa sinabi ko, pero agad ding nawala. Then he inquired, "And you told her that you don't like me, right?"

I nodded. At para siyang nadismaya sa sagot ko. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na oo, yun ang sinabi ko kay Carmen pero nagsinungaling ako. Gusto kong sabihin ang totoo. Na gusto ko talaga siya. At nang tamang-tama nang bubuka ang bibig ko, nagsalita siya, "Eh bakit ginawa niya pa rin yun sayo?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi ko alam," sagot ko. "I also told her that we are just friends pero nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niya kong tinapunan ng alak. She even warned me to stay away from you."

Kale sighed but didn't talk. He remained silent and how I hated it. Hindi ko malaman ang reaksyon niya. Naniniwala ba siya o hindi? I was about to ask that when he groaned then ran his hand through his hair.

"This is my fault," he mumbled.

It was now my turn to crease my forehead. His fault? How come?

"Dapat matagal ko ng tinigilan ang pakikipagdate kay Carmen," sabi ni Kale.

"Bakit naman? Eh gusto mo naman siya diba?" tanong ko.

Kale groaned again. "I don't like Carmen, Maika," he confessed.

My jaw dropped. Tama ba ang narinig ko? Hindi gusto ni Kale si Carmen?

"What?" And that was the only word came out of my mouth.

"I don't like her," Kale repeated. "The truth is I never like her. Well, yes I'm attracted to her. Pero hanggang doon lang yun."

And I gaped at him once more. "Pero bakit dinate mo siya?"

He sighed before he answered, "Two reasons. First, because you told me so. Second," Kale paused, giving me this intent look then he continued, "for me to forget what I feel for you."

I didn't gape at him anymore. But I swallowed, hard.

"I already like you Maika even before I met Carmen," Kale said, again. "And believe it or not, the feeling never changed. It remained the same. Mas lumalala pa nga ata eh," he paused then laughed bitterly.