The Wastelands (Part II of the Runner Series)

Chapter 48

I didn't know that it was possible, but apparently you can hurt so badly that you can cease to feel anything at all.

I am numb. I don't know how long I spent curled up on Meg's cot crying my eyes out, but gauging by the untouched plates of food someone has left by the tent's entryway, it's been more than a day.

My head throbs, my throat is dry and parched, my knee and arm are still sore from wounds I sustained during the battle, but my heart feels nothing. I don't feel the ache of loss any longer; only a great, hollow emptiness.

At some point I visit with Jules. When I tell her what happened to her brother she at first stands dumbly, staring at me with an expression of disbelief. She begins to shake, then cry as the truth of everything gradually works its way home. She screams at me, spouting accusations and blame. I don't fight her, letting the younger girl push me, the force of her blows negligible relative to everything else.

Finally she collapses, sobbing against my shoulder. I hold her tightly, this girl who should have been my sister. We rock back and forth on the cot, our arms wrapped around one another, the two people who loved him most.

Eventually, Meg convinces me to allow Cade inside, insisting that I allow someone to tend my injuries. I don't see the point but figure I owe it to her. Dragging myself into a seated position, I blink the spots of light from my vision as the old healer pushes his way into the tent. Cade is followed by a second person, a shadowy figure standing a ways behind. It takes me a moment to place the stranger, but eventually my addled mind recalls his face.

It's Noah, Luca and Jaron's missing brother.

He gives me a small smile but I cannot bring myself to return the gesture, staring blankly at the two men while Cade efficiently arranges his various potions and remedies, instructing me to lie back on the bed. Meg murmurs an excuse and leaves, probably grateful for the respite.

"All right, let us get a look at you." Cade's tone is gentle as he smooths my hair back, his sharp eyes scanning my cuts and bruises.

Noah hands him a soaked cloth and the older man begins to clean the dried blood and war paint from my face.

"Kay, have you met Noah?" Cade asks conversationally. The medicine stings my cuts but I don't flinch, still adrift in the merciful numbness.

I glance up at the missing Waster brother. He is paler and leaner than both Jaron and Luca; malnourished from his time spent below ground, but there is still an unmistakable resemblance. Noah has the same dark hair and dark features as his brothers, though his eyes are bluer than Luca's, without any trace of the black that Jaron most often wears. There is another major differentiation, however, a kind of gentleness that his battle-hardened brothers lack.

I am about to mumble a non-committal greeting when I notice something else behind Noah's eyes, something that I recognize all too well.

Loss. This Waster is suffering in the same way I am. I think of Rowan, of her final moments, the way she saved me and spoke of Noah with her last breath. I study him closely, curiosity getting the better of me. This is the man that Rowan was willing to give up her tribe for. Before, I could not understand how she could place a single person above everything else. Now, I see the ways in which a heart can be pulled, how innocuous it can all seem when the life of someone you love is at risk.

Rowan was harsh, a warrior through and through. Noah, with his healer's touch and gentle nature could not appear more different, but I understand implicitly how well they were matched. Will and I were opposites also, but together we had balance.

My heart gives a lurch once more and I glance away, grimacing as Cade lays the foul-smelling leaf over my bad knee. The familiar itch of pain begins on the surface of my skin and I shut my eyes tight while I concentrate on the sensation, grateful for the distraction.