Forever To Be Loved

Chapter Twent Two

-----Aiden POV-----

I haven't eaten in about three weeks and I was weak. I couldn't see Sah'nai sick like that and not have my anger and hunger under control. When I saw her hurting and barely able to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, it made me murderously angry. Why I haven't feed in weeks? I don't know. Sah'nai was my main priority and because of that, I almost bit her again a few days ago.

She was sleeping and didn't know how close I was to hurting her in her sleep. She wouldn't have been able to defend herself or stop me from killing her like she did last time because she's gotten worse. I don't get why she has so much faith in me, because I let her know everyday that I was a killer. I couldn't control myself all the time, especially when I haven't eaten in a while. I still can't figure out how I let myself near her when I haven't fed. I should have known to keep my distance, but she's my mate and it physically hurts me to stay away from her for too long.

Like now for example. I haven't seen the love of my existence in days. I haven't even heard her beautiful voice either and I bet that she was worried about where I was. I hated that I wasn't strong enough to go and see her yet, but I wasn't going to take that chance. I would never forgive myself is she got hurt because of me, and to be honest, right now I didn't want to hear how much faith she had in me because I knew better. I knew that I couldn't control myself.

I couldn't help but wonder how she was doing right now. Whether she was still sick or if she'd gotten better.

I could go and peek into her window but I knew that once I saw her, I wouldn't be able to stay away like I needed to. I love her. I love everything about her. I love her smile, her beautiful green eyes, her caramel colored hair, and I loved her smell. Everything she did was made me love her even more. I loved how she had faith that she was going to survive this. I don't know whether I want her to stay human or not, but I would never take her away from her family on purpose. I don't even want to think about me having to take her away from them if she didn't make it and I'd have to change her.

Sah'nai has the biggest heart that I've ever seen. She loved her family with a passion, including her best friend Rhianan. I hated to see her hurt, like when that girl Emily hurt my beautiful mate's feelings at the Halloween party, or how people would stare at her when we went grocery shopping a few days ago for her family's Thanksgiving dinner. I also hated to see the pain that she felt when she talked to her aunt and grandmother and when they left how sad she felt. I hated that she couldn't go down and spend that valuable time with her family. But what I hated the most is what this disease has done to her body.

I hated how it made her sick, and how it gave her lots of pain. I hated the horror and sadness that I saw in her eyes when she realized that her hair was falling out. In my eyes, she was still beautiful to me, no matter what she thought. If I could take this pain away from her, I would in a heartbeat. For as long as I lived I never wanted her to feel one more once of pain after what she'd been through. I'd die if that would help her get better because I wasn't selfish and she's what I want more in life.

"Aiden, just go and see her," my brother Damien said for about the hundredth time.

"Really Aiden. She's probably worried about you," Rachelle added, pushing her red hair behind her ear.

"I... I can't," I say with a groan. It was almost like being in physical pain trying to stay away from the woman that I love.

"And why is that?" Jeremy asked.

Because I haven't gotten my hunger under control yet," I say, and as I say it, I begin to imagine the scent of her blood, and the fast pounding of her heart when I kiss her. "See," I say with a hiss as I spring out of my seat. "I can't go around her yet. Not... not yet."